After middle age, let go of face, simplify the circle, take good care of health, and run a family.
when I first entered the workplace after graduation, I was ambitious and kept spinning like a perpetual motion machine every day.
at that time, I thought happiness should be "have": have a car, a house, money and a career.
so he galloped forward non-stop and came to middle age.
when my energy waned and my body gradually declined, I gradually realized that happiness is actually "nothing": carefree, disease-free and disaster-free.
you don't need a grand narrative to live a life. the best state is to have nothing in mind, health, and family around.
after middle age, learn to adjust the focus of your life and don't turn your life the other way around.
Don't trade health for wealth
A while ago, I saw a video blogger on the Internet
@ Sister Lan
share her experience in fighting cancer for four years.
when she was 20, she went out into the world and vowed to get ahead; when she was 30, she wanted a better life, plunged into work and sprinted for her life.
in those years, she was busy day and night for her goal, day and night reversed, irregular diet was a common occurrence, and too much pressure finally overwhelmed her body.
it was only when a serious illness hit that she suddenly realized that what she had pursued desperately had been returned overnight.
and the achievements and wealth that she used to be proud of are not worth mentioning in the face of illness.
We should work hard, but the premise of our efforts is to ensure that you have a healthy body.
the greatest sorrow in life is that you trade your life for money in the first half of your life, only to find that God has already closed the door of exchange for you.
"in the modern fast-paced life, people instinctively pursue material and wealth, and how many people forget that the greatest wealth they have is actually health and life."
whether we get ahead or have a lot of money, if we lose the foundation of health, everything we have will have nothing to depend on.
when people reach middle age, they should understand that having good health is the highest way to show off wealth.
unnecessary drinks can be pushed as long as they can, and there is no need to be brave if you can't stay up at night.
taking good care of your health is the wisest investment for the rest of your life.
Don't take face for granted
host Tu Lei once said: "face does not exist when there is no strength support, because there is no lining."
it was not until he was erased by reality, recognized, and hammered that he realized that face was just a fig leaf for losers, and that the really strong lived out of the interior.
in the novel the Water of Canglang, the protagonist Chi Dawei was once a cynical idealist.
at work, he disliked the flattery of his colleagues and never disdained to deal with the world.
I would rather spend three years fooling around in the academy of traditional Chinese medicine where no one is interested.
in the past three years, the people around him have already made progress and become his immediate boss, and he doesn't care.
until later, when the child was born, they could not get a house because of their low position, and their wife and children had to squeeze themselves into a cramped room with them. the son was so scalded that he cried with pain, but he could not even take out the money for the hospital.
since then, instead of being arrogant, he has let go of his humble vanity.
he also learned to beg for help with a shy face and a smile, and let his son enter the best kindergarten.
philosopher Santajena said: "our dignity lies not in what we do, but in what we know to do."
teenagers who once disdained to "bow down for five buckets of rice" would later rush through the crowd in order to break the silver.
used to hate clinging to his boss, and finally learned to push the door and pull the chair and serve tea and wine, just to ensure that the family lives without worries.
giving in to reality is not cowardice, but a wise choice made after balance.
only by letting go of face can we lead a good life.
Don't treat your family as outsiders
writer Yi Shu says that the most common mistake people make is to be kind to outsiders and lose their temper with people who are close to them.
once we did whatever we wanted with the unconditional love of our families, thinking that they would always be tolerant.
when the injury accumulates enough, no matter how good-tempered people are, they will leave without looking back.
in the variety show "four famous assistants", a wife tearfully accused her husband of being a "two-faced man".
he is a good old man in front of his friends. His friend wants to borrow money. He immediately transfers money without saying a word. When his friend goes to the airport late at night, he puts on some clothes and hurriedly goes out to see them off.
but at home, he is like a walking powder keg.
when he lost his temper with his parents at the slightest discomfort, his wife bought new clothes, and he sarcastically said, "what are you doing with all this?"
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over time, his parents moved away from his house, and his wife was so cold that she refused to live with him again.
it is only at a certain age that people really understand Wang Xiaobo's sentence: "We have nothing in the world but our family."
in the darkest moment of life, the person who once shouted to insert a knife for you may disappear in the twinkling of an eye, but the family you usually regard as the air has become the strongest support in your trough.
when people reach middle age, the friendship between friends needs to be maintained, and the temperature between family members needs to be cared about more.
Don't take socializing as a skill
when we were young, we boasted that we had friends all over the world and thought that excitement was a necessity of life.
30Only after 20 years old did I learn to close my heart, block out the noise of the outside world, and focus on my own life.
Huang Yongyu once wrote the story of Qian Zhongshu's family in his book.
he said that every Sunday, Qian Zhongshu and his wife, together with their daughter and son-in-law, would each occupy a corner and bury their heads in reading.
Yang Jiang seldom attends the event, and Qian Zhongshu can also push people who come to visit.
in their spare time, they indulge in their own little world, or enjoy playing tricks on each other, or study various dishes together to lead a lively life.
Wisdom, as they certainly understand, the picture of life cannot be painted by others after all. the essence of life lies in inner prosperity and peace.
Ma Dong also asked Xue Zhaofeng in a program: "do you often attend some parties?"
Xue Zhaofeng said no, "because the time cost is too high."
for him, instead of spending time in superficial hustle and bustle, it is better for him to study academia quietly or stay with his family.
those who are self-sufficient are mostly knowledgeable because they know how to choose.
when we are in our thirties and forties, we are long past the age when we need to connect with each other by dinner and prove loyalty by drinking.
keep your life safe so as not to be burdened by the hustle and bustle of the outside world or annoying relationships.
A couple of bosom friends, with family on the side, is the most graceful scene in middle-aged life.
Life is half-slope, when the main theme of life has been fixed, there is no need to be too complicated.
after middle age, let go of face, simplify your circle, take good care of your health, and run a family.
only in this way can we live a secure and secure life in this earthly world.
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Lin Jing is a radio host who graduated from the Chinese Department.
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