What happened to those couples who took care of their own money?
What happened to those couples who took care of their own money?
Husband and wife is not only an emotional community, but also an economic community.


there is a good saying:

"A good marriage should not only be full of fireworks, but also have a consistent concept of money."

Marriage is about dressing and eating, and it's a place where countless real moments bump together.

everything in life is closely related to money.

who is happier in charge of money between husband and wife? It has always been a difficult problem.

in recent years, many people hold high the banner of "husband and wife manage their own money", claiming:

take care of your own business, no one takes advantage of each other, and you don't have to report your consumption to your partner, so it's easy and easy.

can the two people who can live together really distinguish the responsibilities, feelings and contributions in their marital life?

lead a life and become a "shell marriage"

listen to an anonymous reader who told the story of her and her husband:

they met in an outdoor activity, and they hit it off and got along quite happily, so they soon got married.

because both parties have their own savings, they decided to continue to "govern each other" after marriage.

the two people each bear half of all kinds of expenses in the family, and they are also responsible for the human relationship between the two sides.

except that at the beginning, the husband went to accompany him for a week, and in the following days, he hardly went to the hospital on the grounds that he was busy with his work.

when he was about to be discharged from the hospital, netizens looked at the bill and found that there was still a shortfall of nearly 10,000 yuan, so they called her husband and asked him to pay for it.

but the husband said, "when you first went to hospital, I already paid part of it for you, and you haven't given me that money yet?" Ask someone else for help. "

then he hung up the phone mercilessly.

it turns out that her husband has always been bitter about the money, so he was so busy while she was in hospital.

husband and wife have an affair, and when she is sick, vulnerable and most in need of care, her husband's mind is the agreement between them to "manage their own money" and can't wait to settle the account.

since then, the relationship between them has not been what it used to be, the family is always cold, and the relationship is getting weaker and weaker.

it is often said that "talking about money hurts feelings", as if love and money are intertwined, it is tarnishing pure love.

so more and more people begin to advocate "AA marriage", thinking that everything will be fine if they take care of their own business and reduce the intersection of money.

how can two people who want to spend a long time hand in hand be completely economically distinct?

if the calculation is too clear, the affection will fade; if the difference is too clear, the love will go away.

after a long time, life will become a pool of stagnant water, no more feelings.

behind their respective management of money is the alienation of love

in the documentary program "Gold Mediation", there was such a couple:

since their marriage, the couple have been in charge of their own money, and the financial calculation is very clear.

even if a wife asks her husband for help and buys something worth 200 yuan online, she has to give it back to her husband immediately the next day.

if it is not returned in time, the husband will be dissatisfied.

this kind of situation makes the wife very painful.

feel that her husband does not regard her as a family, although they sleep in the same bed, but there is no economic intersection between them, just like sharing partners under the same roof.

the husband retorted that although they were in charge of their own money, he also spent money for his wife.

for example, last year, the insurance for the car was 1,67; when his daughter went to school, he paid more than 2,000; and what else would he usually take his children to dinner, give his wife a red envelope of 100 yuan, and so on, count them one by one.

hearing this, the adjustment experts present all lamented that "this is too clear and care too much," and it is no wonder that the wife can not feel her husband's love.

haggling is the most poisonous drug in marriage.

the more two people in a marriage argue and calculate, the thinner the relationship becomes.

everything has to be divided into each other, which seems to be fair, but in fact it will alienate the two people who originally loved each other.

because, in every calculation, calculation moment, do not consider for each other, just blindly care about their own pay, the marriage as a transaction, so that the so-called "fairness" above feelings.

I quite agree with that sentence:

"in marriage, economy is the foundation, love is the house, respect is the amulet, confusion is happiness."

Life is a fool's account, and rare confusion is the road to happiness.

since we live together, there is no need for money to be divided so clearly between yours and mine.

always believe that in the adult world, where the money is, the heart and love are there.

now that you are married, there will inevitably be an overlap in money. If you have to avoid it, the message is about: I don't trust you, or I don't intend to live with you for a long time.

Marriage needs mutual support and tolerance

I have heard an interesting metaphor:

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saying that husband and wife are like a pair of shoes, no matter how strong one is, it will be difficult to finish the marriage without the other.

only when two people support each other and help each other, can we cross the ditch and ridge of this road and reach the yearning distance.

A person named

@ tomatoes like eggs

have shared such an experience:

said that 13 years ago, when she and her husband first got married, they were also in charge of their own money.

for fear of being looked down upon by her husband, she felt that she only had money in her eyes, so she was never embarrassed to ask for money on her own initiative.

the two people maintained this AA model until netizens got pregnant, and expenses soared: prenatal examinations, calcium tablets, nutrition and so on.

but my husband seems to turn a blind eye to it, and even the cost of more than 2000 yuan for a natural birth is paid by netizens themselves.

in the husband's eyes, AA takes care of himself, so even if he has a child, it has no effect on him.

the wife will take care of diapers, milk powder and so on.

because of the abundance of money, the husband got into a bad habit, lost all his savings and owed a debt.

I didn't confess everything to the netizens until I couldn't get around at last.

at that time, netizens also thought about divorce, but looking at the young children and their repentant husband, they finally chose to forgive.

after helping her husband solve the debt, the two decided to manage the family finances together in the future.

they feel that although the AA system has its convenience, it will make each other lose their sense of family participation and responsibility.

as the old saying goes, "money together, hearts together."

and since they managed the money together, they have become a lot closer to each other.

the husband has never gambled again. He not only understands his wife's efforts and difficulties, but also feels that he has a responsibility to create a better living environment for his wife and children.

emotion expert Tu Lei once said:

"Marriage is not based on easy talk, but on long-term behavior and giving."

Yes, adult relationships have always been like this.

No matter how speculative in words, it is better to help you in deeds; no matter how sweet words are, it is not worth the money and heart together.

Marriage is actually a verb. Only by supporting and tolerating each other can we sustain the long-term love of this life.

Brown, a well-known Australian consultant, said:

"reaching a consensus on money is an important factor in maintaining a lasting relationship."

husband and wife are not only emotional communities, but also economic communities.

the agreement on the concept of money is the prerequisite for marriage to be happy.

it may be difficult to have a single standard answer to who is happier in charge of money in a family.

but only when husband and wife are truly of one mind can they walk together all their lives.

talk about money generously and make common plans

in the adult world, talking about money is never vulgar, but mature.

there is no need to talk about the discoloration of money, it has to be related to matter.

but to treat it in a manner, to write a common future.

the deeper the economic run-in, the more comfortable the rest of the day will be.

Financial power, who has the ability to manage

whether life is happy or not does not depend on the financial power in the hands of one person.

it lies in who has the ability to make the common small home warmer.

more trust and understanding, less suspicion and suspicion, help each other, so that the marriage ship can better set sail.

all household expenses are negotiable

now that I have entered a door, I will be a family from now on.

there is no need to make a clear account of everything. Every expenditure is open to the public, knowing where each other is going, and discussing everything.

before you start blaming, think more about what the other person has done; before you complain, ask yourself if you have done your duty.

the more mutual respect, the less contradiction; the less concern for each other, the more love.

, may you meet the other half who knows you are bitter and understands your difficulties in this world of mortals, who can give you full of love and treat you financially without reservation.