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first key: don't look back

psychologist Basle van der Cock once told the story of a visitor, David.

at the age of 23, David worked as a lifeguard in a swimming pool.

one day, a group of teenagers were drinking and fighting in the pool.

considering that customers are not allowed to drink in the swimming pool, David came forward to stop it.

as a result, instead of following his warning, the group of children began to attack him.

A boy stabbed David in the left eye with a broken wine bottle in the chaos, and his left eye has been blind ever since.

, for 30 years, David thought of that unfortunate experience almost every day.

the details of the events of that year, including pictures and sounds, were repeated in his mind again and again.

tortured by this lingering past, his emotions became out of control.

he is easy to get rough with his children and get angry with his wife from time to time, and his family life is made wild by him.

Van der Cock sighs:

"in fact, what really made David's life out of balance later on was not his left eye, but the experience he refused to let go."

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indulging in the past is a road with no way back.

think of life as a book. Only by turning this page can you open a new chapter.

Zeng Guofan changed his name to "Di Sheng" after watching "Fan Si Xun".

there were all kinds of things, such as death yesterday, and things after that, such as life today.

he hopes to say goodbye to the past.

the past is a prelude, and every day is a new life.

Let yesterday's regrets dissipate in the wind, go on, there will be unexpected surprises.

second key: do not entangle

Su Shi wrote a theory of puffer fish.

there is a dolphin fish in the southern river. It swam under a bridge and accidentally hit the bridge post.

instead of swimming around the bridge post, it became angry and annoyed that the bridge post hit it.

it opened its cheeks with anger, raised its jaw fins, swelled its belly, floated on the water, and remained motionless for a long time.

later, the eagle flying over the water saw it, grabbed the round puffer fish and tore open its belly.

put it down if you can't think about it, turn if the road is not clear, and you need uncompetitive wisdom to be a man.

Zen Buddhism has a story about "liberation".

the disciple asked the Zen master, "teacher, how can I be liberated?"

the Zen master asked, "did someone tie you with a rope?"

the disciple replied, "No."

the Zen master said, "if no one binds you with a rope, how can you talk about liberation?"

A person's heart is often tied to many invisible ropes by himself.

as "Caigen Tan" said: "the world is not dusty, the sea is not bitter, he suffers from the dust."

the scenery of life is good or bad, ultimately depends on your own state of mind.

after a torrential rain, instead of staring at the mud under our feet, we might as well look at the clear sky overhead.

third key: don't be afraid

Li Ruzhen, a famous novelist in the Qing Dynasty, wrote about a country called Bo Li Guo in the Mirror of Flowers.

the people of this country have been afraid of sleeping all their lives.

because they are always worried that they will never wake up after they fall asleep.

this story seems absurd, but it is a portrayal of many people's lives, and we often live in fear of tomorrow.

nothing is known until the dust settles.

at the time of Emperor Xuan of the Han Dynasty, Xia Hou Sheng of Changxin Shaofu was played by the courtiers for opposing the emperor's upgrading of "temple music".

Prime Minister Huang Ba admired Xia Hou-sheng's knowledge and refused to sign the book, so he was also targeted.

in a moment of exasperation, the emperor put both of them in prison.

while in prison, Huang Ba took this opportunity to ask Xia Hou Sheng for advice on Shangshu.

Xia Hou Sheng said with a wry smile, "We are going to die. What is the use of reading scriptures?"

Huang Ba Zhengshi replied, "Confucius has something to say, and if he hears it in the morning, he will die in the evening." When you have learned something after school, today is happy, so why worry about tomorrow? "

Xia Hou Sheng was deeply impressed by this, and the two men talked about scriptures, forgetting the suffering of prison and the danger of their lives.

the two spent three years teaching and learning in prison. Emperor Xuan of the Han Dynasty forgave the world, and they were finally released from prison.

Today is drunk, tomorrow's sorrow comes tomorrow's sorrow.

sometimes, the desperate situation you imagine may be another kind of scenery, and the bleak you expect may hide a surprise.

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I have seen such a cartoon.

A person walks on a sunny street, but he has all the worries.

as he walked, he regurgitated his cud, and at last the haze in his heart gradually obscured the clear sky, and he himself was in pain.

the greatest pain in walking the world is not that we meet thorns and tread on depressions, but that we linger in them.

there are many different paths in life, but we can only take a look at it.

as Feng Zikai wrote in "suddenly enlightened":

"since there is nowhere to escape, it is better to rejoice. Since there is no pure land, it is better to clear your heart. Since you didn't get what you wanted, you might as well be relieved. "

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