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Milan Kundera wrote a sentence in living somewhere else:

"meeting is a matter for two people, but leaving is a decision of one person."

"

this is a world where it is popular to leave, but none of us are good at saying goodbye.

in the adult world, ending a relationship is often not a hoarse quarrel, but silent estrangement.

the alienation of friends makes us sad, the strangeness of relatives makes us uneasy, and the neglect of loved ones makes us resentful.

when a person starts to alienate you, the best way to deal with it is not to ask, not to entangle, not to disturb.

Don't ask questions, it's the biggest sobriety for adults

Zhihu has seen netizens

@ Mercer

share an experience:

when I first entered the workplace, I was a rookie who knew nothing.

met a new colleague, and the two became close friends as soon as they hit it off.

later, because of his good performance at work, he was promoted to project leader by the leader.

A promotion and a raise was supposed to be a good thing, but she was upset because she found that her colleague was slowly alienating her.

I don't eat with her at noon, I don't call myself when I order afternoon tea, and even when I have a regular meeting, I deliberately sit far away from me.

Silent paste didn't understand at that time, so she asked her directly if she had offended her in any way.

my colleague simply replied "no", but he became more and more indifferent to himself.

silently send a message to her, but there is no reply from her.

under her own questioning the next day, she said she had nothing to say.

, the two didn't talk much either, except that their working relationship was like passers-by.

Silent Sauce felt very uncomfortable. He always wanted to ask her, but he didn't know how to open his mouth.

see a sentence enlightened her by netizens in the comment area, which can be called sober in the world:

this inexplicable estrangement is often the result of what someone said behind her, but she listened, and you don't have to ask.

Children will ask you why you ignore me and if you don't like me.

from youth to maturity, from ignorance to sobriety, adults have long passed the age of asking for results in everything.

the more people grow up, the more they understand that many people and things have never been willing, and no matter how many questions they ask, it is useless to ask each other.

you know, the active alienation of the person who has made up his mind to leave you is the answer.

ask the reason over and over again, and all you get is nothing but perfunctory, on the contrary, it makes you worry in vain.

even if I get the answer, I can't satisfy myself. It just makes me obsessed with myself.

A relationship comes to an end, asking questions endlessly, can not change the established outcome, but will hurt yourself.

yesterday can not be turned back, there is no need to ask questions, leave each other a respect for each other, return the feelings of the past.

alienation and silence, saying goodbye to this and not asking questions is the greatest sobriety for adults.

No entanglement, it is the best decency for adults

writer Harper Lee once had a well-connected college classmate, Kait. Both of them liked literature and encouraged each other all the time.

when he was in college, Harper often shared his creative inspiration with Kait.

later, Harper began to write novels, and after years of polishing, he wrote "Kill a Mockingbird".

when the book was first published, Kait was very enthusiastic in helping to promote it.

with the popularity of to Kill a Mockingbird, Harper topped the list of the most popular writers of the time.

at this time, however, Kayit became increasingly estranged, and Harper took the initiative to contact Kayit in the hope of getting back together.

but Kayit turned a deaf ear to his unsolicited overtures, and even declared that he was the real author of the book.

for a while, this matter was greatly exaggerated by the media, which successfully made Kayit famous quickly.

and Harper chose to hide in the town and live in semi-seclusion without any excuse.

Harper wrote in a letter many years later: "entanglement will only consume my last glimmer of affection for our relationship and hurt both sides."

Cang Yang Gyatso once said in his poem:

"people may have loved, hated, missed, or passed by in this life."

"

when all the past is gone, all attempts to fix it are futile and pale.

in interpersonal communication, the saddest thing is:

when a person begins to alienate you, you still stay in the same place, obsessively entangling, waiting for the other person to change his mind.

as the saying goes: glass is fragile, colorful clouds are easy to disperse.

once followed like a shadow is true, today's Tianya stranger is also true.

as long as people see it clearly, it is good to see things through.

Feel free to stand out in the crowd in one of our gorgeous teen prom dresses. Our collections will surely cater for all kinds of tastes.

when the other person deliberately snubs you, it is equivalent to unilaterally announcing the end of the relationship.

No matter how much entanglement is futile, the other party will not stay for you because of your entanglement.

just like the leaves will be yellow, the heart will be cold. In this life, how many accidental encounters there are, how many others are left untoldIt's inevitable.

there is a sentence in "being at ease all one's Life":

"if you are always entangled, then the pain will be fresh and vivid all the time, and you will be tortured violently and cruelly all the time. It is better to be indifferent, indifferent and indifferent.

"

instead of consuming yourself in entanglement, let it go, exit honorably, and be at ease with each other.

Don't disturb, it's the last tacit understanding of adults

there is a hot topic on Weibo: "if you are deliberately estranged by a friend, do you still want to fix it?"

the comment area is full of tacit understandings that adults understand: "Don't bother a person who is deliberately alienated from you."

actor Li Ruotong wrote about his own experience in his autobiography "have a good Life".

in the second shoot, she met an actress from the same crew. With similar personalities and similar hobbies, they soon became sisters.

is inseparable, and the relationship is so good that he says everything.

later, Li Ruotong left the crew for a while.

as soon as she came back, she couldn't wait to find the actress and greeted each other warmly.

did not expect that the other party just glanced at her, gave a cold "uh-huh", turned around and left, leaving only to stay in place in amazement.

later learned that during her absence, the actress made new friends and was a very popular star.

Li Ruotong respected each other's choice. at the same time, she recognized her place in the hearts of her friends and never disturbed her again.

two people are like two lines of intersection, after a brief encounter, there is no intersection.

think of a hot comment on NetEase Cloud:

"I do not know when, without a word, honorably withdraw from each other's world, has become the last tacit understanding between you and me.

"

in this world, there is no estrangement for no reason, only the ending of drifting away.

No matter what the reason behind a person's alienation is that he doesn't care about you in the final analysis.

because I don't care, even perfunctory people will feel tired, instead of trying to resolve misunderstandings.

because you don't care, you will ignore your feelings, let alone make the effort to maintain the relationship.

because he doesn't care, no matter how much you take the initiative, it is an inappropriate disturbance in his eyes.

when people get along with others, there is a scale in everyone's heart, which can tell the difference between true and false, and can measure the weight.

since the other party chooses to alienate, it would be out of line for adults to disturb them again.

it is not as good as knowing interest, as it wishes, the cloud is light and the wind is light to withdraw from their respective world.

the tacit understanding of adults is that life is as difficult as it is for the first time, and you and I are fine.

▽

I like Mo Yan's sentence very much: "to come is accidental, to go is inevitable, to take its course, to let nature take its course."

people meet and see each other for the rest of their lives.

if you don't get a response, don't ask questions and give each other the best respect.

if the relationship has changed, let it go as soon as possible and give each other the greatest dignity.

for those who can't stay, don't bother and give each other a final blessing.

at the end of fate, let the flowers become flowers, let the trees become trees, and make you and me happy.

, I believe that in this world, there will always be someone who can see your light, and the stars will only come for you.