The most comfortable relationship for adults: speak up
The most comfortable relationship for adults: speak up
Only when we dare to be honest with each other can we have the opportunity to eliminate the contradiction in the invisible.


living in the world, no one is an island, and everyone can't avoid dealing with others.

Communication is particularly important with family, colleagues or strangers.

good communication can not only resolve contradictions and misunderstandings in life, but also increase mutual trust and understanding.

in today's fast-paced, high-stress life, more and more people begin to like simple and direct communication.

No beating around the bush, no temptation and suspicion.

to be frank, it is the most efficient way to communicate.

evading communication will only escalate conflicts

have read such a sentence:

"once there is a problem in a marriage, if the first thought is not to solve the problem, but to choose to escape, it will ruin the relationship."

avoiding communication will only accelerate the consumption of each other's feelings, as misunderstandings and disappointments accumulate, the two people will only drift apart.

A good marriage is neither clinging to nor settling down, it is about such a couple.

the wife is frank and likes to speak bluntly, but the husband is not good at expressing it.

the two always quarrel over trifles. After the quarrel, as long as the wife does not take the initiative, the husband does not open his mouth, often having a cold war for ten days and a half months.

in such a vicious circle, the estrangement is getting deeper and deeper, and the wife is finally completely disappointed in the relationship.

the trivial things originally intensified because of the lack of communication, which eventually led to the breakdown of the relationship.

in fact, when you encounter problems or differences, the more you evade them, the more you will intensify the conflicts.

if you talk about the problem, you can understand each other and get along well with each other.

in his book "carrying is the skill", Feng Lun mentioned a way of communication, called "nudity tactics".

this method of communication stems from a "separation" incident of Wantong Group.

when Feng Lun first started his business, five people founded Wantong with him. As the company grew and everyone disagreed on issues such as the management and development of the company, an executive decided to quit the company.

Feng Lun knew that they both had "bumps" in each other's hearts, so in order to run the company well, Feng Lun said to him:

"after you leave, I will scold you in the company for 3 months. If you leave, you will take people away. If I don't scold you, I can't convince the public." In exchange, you can use our past brands and projects. "

the other side expressed understanding that the matter did not affect their friendship, and the two had maintained a happy cooperation over the years.

Liu Tong once said, "if you run away, you will always be a loser." Only by facing is the first step to win. "

getting along with others will inevitably give rise to all kinds of contradictions and frictions. if they are not communicated in time and properly resolved, the discontent in their hearts will snowball and eventually become an insurmountable obstacle between two people.

only when we dare to face the problem and be honest with each other can we have the opportunity to eliminate the contradiction in the invisible.

euphemistic refusal often leads to mistakes in others and yourself

A few days ago, my cousin told me regretfully that she had offended my colleague Sister Li.

I thought it was because of work, but I didn't expect it to be a blind date.

it turned out that when Sister Li saw that her cousin did not have a boyfriend, she enthusiastically introduced her friend's son to her cousin.

after the meeting, my cousin found that the other person was not his type, but the man was very warm to her, and because she was introduced by a colleague, she felt that she could not embarrass others, so she did not express her attitude directly.

when Sister Li asked how she was getting along, her cousin only said that she was very nice.

, although my cousin behaved coldly and refused to meet with her under all kinds of excuses, she did not understand her intentions, and as always, she had to make her words clear.

unexpectedly, the other party was anxious when he heard this, saying that he had already identified his cousin as his lover and rejected others, but he was happy in vain.

when Sister Li found out, she also complained: "you didn't tell me earlier, isn't it a mistake?" How do you want me to tell my parents? "

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only then did my cousin realize that she had done bad things with good intentions.

sometimes we think that euphemistic refusal is a kind of kindness and saving face. As everyone knows, this will only cause greater delay and deeper harm to others.

as the saying goes, "We are all adults. You don't have to lie to me and say anything else. I'm not angry at your refusal. I'm just angry that you're wasting my time."

instead of beating around the bush and getting along with others, it is better to tell the truth and save time.

A friend once asked Wu Jun to arrange an internship for his child.

after reading his resume, Wu Jun told his friend that he had left his job and could only help to submit his resume.

the point is that the child's resume is not suitable, and if he insists on asking a friend to recommend it, it will embarrass his friend.

after hearing Wu Jun's refusal, my friend was not angry, but expressed understanding.

in life, saying "no" decisively for those things you are unwilling or unable to do will avoid a lot of unnecessary trouble and pain.

as Wu Jun said, "if you can help others, you should help others. If it is very difficult, don't force it. Refuse each other at the first time, so that they can quickly think of other ways."

vaguely compared to grindingHowever, a direct refusal is the greatest responsibility to others.

duplicity, increase the consumption of each other

Le Jia once said, "if I misunderstand you, it's my fault, but I sincerely ask you not to keep being sarcastic, it will only make the problem worse."

in a relationship, duplicity will only torture each other and increase the consumption of each other.

in Fortress besieged, Fang Hung-chien went out to dinner with his friend Chao Hsin-mei when Sun Jou-chia was ill.

as soon as she returned to her residence, Sun Jou-jia said strangely:

"do you know that you have been out for a long time? Anyway, good friends are together, eat, drink and play, and don't come back all night. It's up to you. No one cares if I die alone in the hotel. "

in fact, Sun Jou-chia hoped that Fang Hung-chien could spend more time with her sick self, but her different expressions only made Fang Hung-chien feel that she was losing her temper.

Sun Jou-chia tried to win understanding and care by complaining, but it backfired.

there are many people who like duplicity in life.

in a quarrel, he obviously wants to be coaxed by the other party, but says, "you go, I don't want to see you again."

when his lover was hurt, he was obviously distressed, but he said, "how can you be so stupid that you can't even do such a little thing well?"

this duplicative expression will only make the other person feel that you are blaming him and can't feel your mind at all.

the end result is often a person who secretly gets angry and complains that the other person doesn't know him or herself, and one who blames the other for being unreasonable.

like McDull's sentence very much:

"there is something to say, do not wait for the other person to understand, because the other party is not you, do not know what you want, until the end can only be sad and disappointed, especially feelings."

you know, people's feelings are not the same, and tacit understanding is rare.

the best way to maintain a relationship is to state your needs and feelings directly and clearly.

so stop wasting time on ineffective communication and internal friction, let go of your inner defense and camouflage, and bravely express your truest feelings.

I have heard such a sentence:

"to put it bluntly, it is an outstanding talent for implicit Chinese people."

the cleverest communication is not to talk about him from left to right, but to come straight to the point and tell the truth.

in the work, put forward your opinions and communicate and coordinate in time.

in love, if you don't like it, just say it and don't waste other people's feelings.

in life, say clearly if you don't help, and don't waste other people's time.

whether you are colleagues, friends, or husband and wife, you should be honest with each other and speak bluntly.

do not hide, do not duplicity, in order not to embarrass yourself, nor consume others.

, may you and I be frank and sincere, bold and kind, meet simple people and live a relaxed life for the rest of my life.