Wave goodbye to the wrong person and spend the rest of your life with the right person.
if you ask me, among the ancient literati, who made the most friends?
I have only one answer: Su Shi.
according to scholars' statistics, Su Shi has nearly a thousand friends in his circle of friends.
from princes and Mohist to peddlers, from bustling Kyoto to mountain villages, Su Shi has friends all over the world.
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in an age without mobile phones and computers, such a number of friends is a miracle.
but Su Shi also said:
"melancholy East Lan a plant of snow, life can see how clear."
the more people you associate with, the more insightful you are about the complexity of the human heart.
after bustling around, Su Shi tells you how to quickly see a person.
trivia, look at human nature
people are animals who are good at camouflage.
but no matter how shrewd people are, they will reveal their true character in casual trifles.
after all, subconscious words and actions can better reflect one's heart.
once, Su Shi and his friend Xie Jingwen met for a walk in the suburbs.
an injured bird fell from a tree. Su Shi was just about to bend over and hold it up.
Xie Jingwen strode forward and kicked the bird aside.
an act of carelessness cooled Su Shi's heart.
he decided that this man must be a bully, benefit himself at the expense of others, and should not make a deep acquaintance.
know the leopard at a glance, fall a leaf and know the autumn.
the ugliness and brilliance of human nature can be best understood in some inadvertent little things.
in his early years, Su Shi also had a very close friend named Zhang Dun, and the two were Jinshi on the same list.
one day, when they were playing in the mountains, they came to a cliff, and there was only a single wooden bridge in front of them.
Zhang Dun proposed to let Su Shi cross the bridge and leave their names on the cliff.
seeing the abyss under the bridge, Su Shi shook his head in refusal.
but when I saw Zhang Kui walking easily without changing his face, he wrote the words "Su Shi Zhang Dun came here for a visit" on the cliff.
as a result, Su Shi could not help sighing: "you will be able to do so in the future."
Zhang Dun asked, "Why?"
Su Shi said:
"do not cherish your own life, nor will you cherish the lives of others."
A few years later, Zhang Quan became prime minister, and his former opponent was either killed or derogated.
Sima Guang, who had argued with him, was now dead, and Zhang Dun did not stop, demanding that he dig graves, dig graves, and whip the corpse.
you can see that he is ruthless.
there is an old saying in China:
"the goods appear in the world, but the heart is hidden in the body."
Life is a mixture of fish and dragons, and most of the time what we see in front of us is just an appearance.
the deep-seated appearance of a person needs to be known through the usual clues.
A man of noble character can stick to his heart and keep his goodness even in the smallest part.
those who suffer from moral defects are on the contrary.
they can give up the bottom line on small things, or they can be insensitive on big things; they can drink with you today, or they can turn around and betray you.
details are often the best way to see a person.
look at the breadth of mind in the face of anger
in the book Lu's Spring and Autumn, there was the art of "eight views and six tests" to recognize people.
the two most important items are "joy to test its defense, anger to test its integrity".
if you want to see the size of a person's pattern, you must test it through emotions such as joy and anger.
because people show real self-control and breadth of mind only when they are in extreme emotions.
in the first year of Song Zhe Zong, Prime Minister Sima Guang died, and a group of officials went to the prime minister's office to mourn.
I didn't think of the door, but I didn't see Sima Guang's son to greet him.
when asked, Cheng Yi, the leader of the Luo Party, forbade them to come out.
the reason is that Cheng Yi believes that there is no such provision in ancient rites, and that if a filial son is really filial, he should be too sad to see anyone.
in the face of Cheng Yi's statement, Su Shi felt very absurd:
"this is a kind of dross etiquette and is not advisable."
the original sentence is just to talk about the facts.
but Cheng Yi felt that Su Shi brushed his face in front of everyone, so he became angry.
since then, Cheng Yi saw Su Shi as a thorn in his eye, and the resulting "Shu Luo dispute" lasted for decades.
the so-called, usually do not know the meaning, from anger to peep at the heart.
people with small patterns will haggle over other people's words and actions and burn with anger.
people with large patterns can tolerate others and restrain themselves, and will not be bitter between joy and anger.
when Su Shi was in Yangzhou, he once feasted guests, and the calligrapher Mi Fu was also present.
the literati circle at that time all thought that although Mi Fu was talented, she had a strange personality and was arrogant and arrogant.
so in the middle of the banquet, Miao stood up and asked Su Shi:
"the world says I'm crazy. What do you think?"
Su Shi had to smile and tell the truth: "I follow the crowd."
changeBeing a narrow-minded person may have long been annoyed.
but Miao was different. he laughed with everyone and succeeded in a good talk.
the height of the mountain is the peak, and the sea accepts all rivers.
when the pattern of human life is large, it will not sink in trivial decorations.
A truly magnanimous person will not be furious over a trifle and will not hold a grudge because of a contradiction.
compared with those who get angry when they disagree, people who keep an open mind in anger deserve a deep acquaintance.
look at prosperity and adversity from the bottom of your heart
Mr. Yang Jiang said:
"when you are in a high position, all you see are flashy dreams, and when you are humble, you have a chance to see the truth of the world."
when people are in the scenery, it is always easy to applaud and follow.
as soon as you fall, you can really see who is fake and who is true.
Su Shi has a painter friend named Li Gonglin.
when Su Shi was a great minister and was famous all over the world, the two talked and laughed, drank and sang for money.
especially in the Yuanyou period, Li Gonglin was the statue of the Su family all over the painter's temple.
but when Su Shi was demoted and moved south and went out of Beijing with his family, he met Li Gonglin.
Su Guo, the son of Su Shi, wanted to say hello to him, but Li Gonglin rode on his horse, covered his face with a fan, turned away and pretended not to know him.
remember that there is a saying:
"you will know how many people around you are sincere to you and how many people are playing games."
the unpredictability of people's hearts and the authenticity of feelings all need time to examine before they can be seen clearly.
there is another group of people around Su Shi.
they sent countless warmth to Su Shi when he was in distress, and gave him the greatest kindness in times of adversity.
such as Ma Mengde.
Ma Mengde is a famous poor man.
Su Shi once wrote in his diary: Mengde and I were born in the same month in the same year, and we are both poor ghosts, but by comparison, we are still poorer.
after Su Shi was demoted to Huangzhou, Ma Mengde ran around and took out his only savings to find a piece of land for Su Shi to cultivate and solve the problem of livelihood of Su Shi and his family.
A horse is known by mud, but a man is difficult to know.
True friendship is never a change of cups in times of prosperity, but a helping hand in poverty.
hypocrisy, there will be nothing to hide under the washing of time;
sincerely, it will last forever in the experience of the years.
those friends who never give up when you are in distress deserve to be cherished for the rest of your life.
throughout Su Shi's life, there are three ups and downs.
from time to time, some people praise him and help him, while others slander him and slander him.
but no matter how many people he sees and how many things he sees through, he can eliminate the smoke of gunpowder with an indifferent smile.
the world is sophisticated and the hearts of the people are everywhere. As far as he is concerned, he can see clearly and look down upon him.
this is the so-called way of life of wisdom.
, may you keep a pair of discerning eyes in the multitude of the world.
wave goodbye to the wrong person and spend the rest of your life with the right person.
keep a calm heart and be a free person in the world.