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Wo. Ziji Shuode said:

"the pain caused by the one you love will be like a thumbtack hidden in the pillow, giving people a sudden, intense and lasting pain."

indeed, even if the loved one leaves, the pain is still heartbreaking, restless, and even hard to fall asleep and burst into tears.

those feelings that can not go back, the past that cannot be forgotten, make themselves trapped in the same place and suffer a lot.

I originally thought that blocking and deleting each other would end a relationship, but the tears in the dead of night could not deceive me.

it turns out that falling in love is not easy, but parting is even more difficult!

in fact, severing diplomatic relations is not the best way to let go of a person, these three "no" are.

Don't think about

people often say:

"just because I'm out of touch with you doesn't mean I don't miss you. I still miss you wherever I go."

thinking about the past makes people indulge in the past, linger in a relationship that has long been predestined, and draw a circle on the ground as a prison.

in the movie if you are the one, Liang Xiaoxiao falls in love with the married man Lao Fang.

at the beginning of love, Lao Fang promised to marry Xiaoxiao and let him wait for three years.

in the days of waiting, Xiaoxiao had a hard time.

to the end: "if I don't drink myself out every night, I feel like I can't go on."

from the initial full of expectations for love, to the later slowly despair, Shao-Shao gradually understood in the suffering that his love really disappeared.

Shaoxiao recognized the reality, but could not accept it, and the pain she could not advance or retreat made her choose to jump into the sea.

she said with difficulty:

"hateful love has exhausted all my passion, and the more I struggle, the more memories tear me down."

A person who can't come back can drag Shao-Shao down to this point, not because the other person's feelings are too deep, but because his own thoughts are too persistent.

this reminds people of one sentence:

"when you lose a relationship, trying to ease the pain by relaxing, drinking, or finding a new relationship will deepen the status of the person who leaves in your heart."

recollection of the feelings that can not come back is called thinking. But if you think about it for a long time, it will become obsession, and obsession is the most painful.

only when you think about it will you understand that this so-called concern is not only self-deception trapped in the same place, but also self-harm of self-pity.

after all, the starlight of yesterday cannot illuminate today's night sky; the feelings of the past cannot dispel today's loneliness.

in that case, why not be relieved?

you are worthy of not only meeting by chance, but also making a clean break today.

then stop thinking about it, let alone be obsessed with the past, accept the fact that love has disappeared, and live in front of your eyes.

as Shi Tiesheng said:

"I haven't forgotten anything, but there are some things to collect.

"

in the final analysis, the best way to really let go of a person is not to break off friendship, but not to think about it.

do not attach importance to

someone said: "if a person's departure can make you miserable, it must be that you attach too much importance to him."

just because you attach too much importance to it, the unkind person has found someone else, but the affectionate you are still waiting in place.

just like Viv, the heroine in the movie "I do". Fall in love with Wang Yang at the beginning of love, give everything for seven years, but finally leave without saying good-bye.

after Wang Yang left, Wei Wei had endless confusion and unwillingness in her heart, not only for her seven years of feelings, but also for her sincere mispayment.

all her energy is devoted to working hard and improving herself. Soon came to prominence in the field of work.

Seven years later, Wang Yang, full of glory, returned to Wei Wei, thinking that she would let bygones be bygones and renew her relationship with herself.

Wei Wei told him with her actions that her smile would no longer burst for him, and tears would no longer flow for him.

once unforgettable feelings, and that can not let go of the person, has long been unconsciously, faded out of the journey of life.

Wei Wei's letting go is due to her choice after the change of circumstances. Choose to transfer energy, build their own at the same time, but also choose to "do not attach importance to emotional injury".

if you don't pay attention to the pain, the scars in your heart will stop worsening, scar and scab will be formed, and then new buds will be sent out.

Don't pay too much attention to the irreparable past before you have the energy to meet the joyful flowers of the future.

"Human disqualification" says: "if there is no excessive joy, there is no extreme sadness."

in fact, in a relationship, if there is no excessive attention, there is no excessive disappointment.

when a person is not too disappointed, he learns to let it go and get out of self-consumption.

in the final analysis, the best way to let go of a person is not to break the friendship, but to pay no attention to it.

have no illusions

there is a saying:

"it is difficult for you to let go of someone because you explore their lives too much and pay too much attention to everything about them."

explore each other's life, because miss his former company; pay attention to each other's everything, because fantasy love is still there.

however, the beauty of fantasy lies in temporary comfort.The bad fantasy lies in the deliberate beautification.

my friend Xiaoru was decent when she divorced. There was no quarrel or resentment, and her husband voluntarily gave up his property, including his children, in exchange for his freedom.

what the other side did, Xiaoru mistakenly thought that he still had feelings for himself. So Xiaoru had the illusion of reunion in her heart.

Xiaoru always comforts herself that where a man's money is, his heart is there. When her ex-husband left her money and children, he gave her his heart.

my heart is here, and I will come back sooner or later.

because of her illusions, Xiaoru not only pays close attention to her ex-husband's developments, but also inquires about each other's lives through their mutual friends.

through the strands of information, Xiaoru in the fantasy, constantly magnify the strengths of her ex-husband, and then ignore his shortcomings.

time and distance seem to filter the past. Xiaoru doesn't care about the man and the cracks that once existed between him and herself.

it was not until the news of her ex-husband's remarriage came that Xiaoru was disillusioned.

the most painful thing in a relationship is that your heart is broken when you are still leaving, but the other person is already light and light.

and the most excruciating thing about parting is not that you haven't turned around, but that you still have illusions about the person who left.

because there are still fantasies, they will explore and pay attention to each other's lives.

to escape the fact that the other person has left, thus getting caught up in the past and making it impossible to start a new life.

Dong Qing has a sentence that hit the nail on the head:

"what can hurt you is never the ruthlessness of others, but your imaginary expectations."

indeed, it is not the person who leaves you who tortures you, but the torment that you always expect the other person to come back, but are mercilessly woken up by reality again and again.

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you know, the more people resent something, the more they will be bound by something; the more they care about something, the more they will be entangled with something. Fantasy, in fact, is a kind of entanglement.

there is a saying: "in a relationship, the one who turns first is an angel."

instead of expecting in fantasy and inserting a knife into your heart in despair, be the angel who turns around first and let go of the person who makes you miserable.

in fact, it's not hard to let go of a person, just don't fantasize about it.

Zhou Guoping said:

"without being lovelorn, you do not understand love; without frustration, you do not understand life."

Life can not turn back, but can turn around, no matter lovelorn or frustrated, some people have come, they always have to teach us something.

the important thing is whether you can change your mind in time, learn to smile in pain, and be free after putting it down.

you know, it's not terrible to lose your feelings, but to lose your life for your feelings.

, hug yourself, from this moment on, do not think, do not take seriously, do not fantasize, end a relationship, start a new life.