Not to embarrass others and not to make a mess for yourself are the basic rules for adults to socialize.
I saw a sentence on the Internet: "when I get away from Wechat and chat, I feel like I can't speak."
I do not know since when, Wechat has become the main tool of communication between people.
either there are rich emojis to liven up the atmosphere, or written expressions are more able to express their feelings, or avoid the embarrassment of face-to-face communication.
We often think that we don't have to worry too much about what we say on Wechat, and we can express it casually.
but the reality is that Wechat is no longer the world of friends, but a large social ashram.
sometimes an inadvertent word, an expression, may leave a bad impression on others, and then miss friends and opportunities.
people with low EQ most like to say these three things on Wechat, they have no idea, and others hate them very much.
questioning rhetorical questions
is there such a person around you?
when you have a conflict, each other always asks, "who do you think you are?"
you made a mistake inadvertently, and the other person said, "are you stupid?"
when you make a decision, the other person will question, "Why are you doing this?"
Wanna try online shopping? We have glittering collection of satin homecoming dresses of tasteful nature. Why don’t you pick the cheap but high quality dress?
these people have their own sense of superiority, like walking interrogative machines, full of doubts about the people and things around them.
is like this, it is difficult to speak well, full of sarcasm and rhetorical questions.
A netizen encountered a difficult problem in reviewing in the library and sent a message to his roommate for advice, and the roommate immediately replied, "none of this?"
netizens choked so much that they were speechless and wanted to withdraw the news immediately.
but when the netizen just sent "thank you", the roommate sent a message asking: "do you really understand?" Don't pretend to know. "
the gratitude in the hearts of netizens was extinguished instantly, leaving only disgust and disgust.
on another occasion, someone asked a netizen for help, but he could not get away from something at that time and said that he would be there in a moment.
unexpectedly, as soon as the netizen's voice dropped, the roommate said, "it's not good enough to ask you to help me for a while."
as a result, netizens seldom communicate with roommates, and they are even more shy about them after graduation.
host Meng Fei said: "all the sense of superiority comes from lack of insight and lack of compassion."
the habit of questioning others is to highlight themselves by suppressing others and build their sense of superiority on the negation of others.
being blinded by pride and not seeing the excellence of others, he will live in his own world like a leaf.
to question others is to bring yourself down, and every rhetorical question you ask will make others resent you a little more.
if you poke a sore spot
when I watched the documentary, I was shocked by the behavior of a reporter, which is still fresh in my memory.
in a seafood market in Qingdao, the reporter is interviewing a seafood stall owner, who is having a conversation with the reporter with a smile in her eyebrows while picking up seafood.
but after a few words, the atmosphere became awkward.
the reason is that the reporter saw a hole in the owner's glove, revealing her finger, and said directly to the owner's wife, "can you take off the glove and have a look at it?"
the landlady repeatedly refused: "No, no."
as the seafood stall owner has to deal in hard-shell seafood such as scallops and oysters, it is easy to scratch her hand every day. "it's all broken, don't look at it," said the landlady. "
"where is it broken? Is your hand broken? "
the landlady did not respond to the reporter's questions, and the smile on her face gradually faded.
the reporter turned a blind eye and asked relentlessly, "do you have a wound on your hand?"
the landlady looked unhappy and said to the reporter, "go and interview others. I have something to do."
obviously, the landlady did not want to mention the injury on her hand, but the reporter had to shoot and ask, there is no doubt that "where is the pain?"
as one netizen commented: "this reporter lacks not only IQ, but also EQ."
whether in life or on Wechat, there is always a group of people who like to poke people's sore spots and don't care about the feelings of others.
"your legs are so thick that you don't look good in a short skirt."
"you must be very warm because you are so fleshy."
"Why are you still single? don't make waves when you get older."
these light words, the speaker can be painless, but the listener is like ten thousand arrows through the heart.
everyone has a pain that they don't want to talk about, and a weakness that they don't want to be mentioned. It's an offence to force others to open it.
words that prick people's pain are actually rude when you think they are humorous.
writer Xiao Xiao Yifan said:
"the so-called high EQ is never so simple as to speak, but to know when to shut up and put the part you see through in your stomach to save the face of others."
people with high EQ tend to know better than to see through, uphold a friendly original intention, and achieve the decency of others.
if you find fault with others
the owl of writer Lao Yang once told stories about friends.
one afternoon, Lao Yang was chatting with his friends, and at first his friends were talking and laughing.
but in less than half an hourHis friend said to him with a depressed face, "Lao Yang, what should I do?" My goddess blocked me. "
it turned out that when a friend saw that the goddess had sent a beautiful photo in the group, he could not help sending two comments in succession:
"have you had your nose done?" "PS is too much."
the goddess replied angrily, "you don't have to talk if you can't speak."
my friend realized that the goddess was angry and immediately sent a private letter to apologize, only to find that he had been blocked.
my friend felt that the goddess made a mountain out of a molehill, so he complained to Lao Yang, "did she want to block me for a long time, so she blocked me when I told the truth?"
Lao Yang smiled and said, "you really think too much. How can it be worth her deliberation to block a person like you who is in debt?"
my friend disagreed: "but I apologized!"
Lao Yang said solemnly:
"now that you have declared war unilaterally, don't try to negotiate peace unilaterally.
you are the one who criticizes the other party indiscriminately, and you are also the one who sincerely came to apologize; it is you who are embarrassing, and you are the one who wants to forgive in exchange for saying sorry. "
in this world, there is no truth that others must be forgiven for hurting people in a moment of euphoria.
when you say something embarrassing, you should make a face-breaking ending.
Shen Juyi, a scholar in the Qing Dynasty, said: "the greatest foolishness of life is to hear one's own mistakes, and the worst evil of life is to talk about other people's mistakes."
deliberately finding fault with others is a kind of evil that can not be liked by others, and it is the lowest EQ in dealing with people.
everyone likes to be praised, doesn't like to be belittled, and can't accept being picked on.
people who pick bones in eggs not only waste energy, but also dirty eggs, stupid and mean.
some people say:
"language is emotional and warm, and it is extremely important to have a good command of speech, whether for strangers or those close to you."
the level of a person's emotional quotient is not how eloquent, but whether he speaks appropriately or not.
people with high EQ talk like warm currents, while people with low EQ talk like ice.
you don't have to be cautious in dealing with the world, but ask to think more before you open your mouth, say what you can, and stop what you should say.
not to embarrass others and not to make a mess for yourself is the basic rule for adults to socialize.