Laugh everything off, know how to redeem yourself and live through your own joys and sorrows.
"the sea laughs, the tide is surging on both sides of the strait, and the waves go up and down with the waves to remember the present;
Heaven laughs, the world surges one after another, and God knows who loses and who wins. "
I don't know the meaning of the song at first, but I'm already the one in the song.
when you are young, you prefer to be reluctant. The more you can't ask for it, the more you can't let it go.
is always sad and depressed, full of heart is not willing to persevere.
it takes a thousand sails to understand: the sea of life, the ups and downs of things.
instead of entangling and complaining in the trough of life, it is better to be free and open-minded and laugh off everything.
face up to all the discrepancies and doubts, sufferings and joys and sorrows in life.
laugh to gather and scatter, closeness and closeness
there is a highly discussed topic on Zhihu's hot list:
"what is the best mindset when you interact with others?"
one of the highly liked answers:
"the best mentality for an adult to interact with others is to laugh at gathering and dispersing and being close to each other."
when we were young, we didn't want to part and disperse. we always wanted our friends and relatives to be with us all the time.
do not realize that meeting is a beautiful accident, parting is the normal state of life.
the more you grow up, the lonelier you get. People come and go on the journey of life, but in the end, you are alone.
on the variety show "ace to trump", Shen Teng said bluntly that he seldom walked around with his friends after he became famous.
in 2012, Shen Teng first appeared on the stage of the Spring Festival Gala and accumulated a lot of fame for his excellent works.
later, he became popular again by creating a number of classic movie characters.
although his career is becoming more and more prosperous, he has become a well-known comedian.
but in terms of interpersonal relationships, Shen Teng reversed the rapid progress in his career and gradually reduced his contact with his friends.
of course, this is not because Shen Teng "people forget their roots". On the contrary, Shen Teng is a person who cares about his friends very much.
it's just that while he was delving into his favorite field of acting, his friends were also busy with their lives and careers.
some of them have retired behind the scenes, some have changed careers and are no longer engaged in acting-related work.
so, his friends are worried about sending messages to him, which is a kind of disturbance to him;
and Shen Teng is also afraid that his connection will put a burden on them.
there will be times when life falls apart, and at the end of our lives we will meet many people.
but, as the movie "the Dead of Mountains and Rivers" says:
"everyone can only walk with you for a while, and sooner or later they will be separated."
A lover who takes an oath of love may be the last to say goodbye.
like-minded partners may go their separate ways in the twinkling of an eye;
even parents and children, some people will leave first, eventually separating yin and yang.
so, instead of dwelling on people who have left and lost relationships;
it is better to laugh and accept all the encounters and parting in your life.
then follow the fate of intimacy and closeness, and continue to move forward to meet the new future.
smile to question, focus on yourself
the movie Silent confession once said:
"our whole life is to get rid of the expectations of others and find who we really are."
in life, we always like to connect ourselves with others and demand ourselves with the expectations of others.
do not realize that no one can meet everyone's expectations.
in his prose the Shame of eating, Mo Yan recounted such an experience:
once, Mo Yan was invited to dinner.
at that time, Mo Yan was still young, and the big boys often didn't have enough to eat because they ate too much, so they couldn't help eating more at dinner.
because of how much he eats and how he eats, his friends laugh at him for "risking his life" for eating free food.
when Mo Yan heard this, he suddenly blushed. While secretly scolding himself for being "useless", he swore that he would "pay the bill in advance next time."
but he was laughed at when he paid the bill in advance.
because this time, after everyone had had enough to eat and drink, he ate all the rest of the food.
therefore, some people say that if he pays the bill himself, he has to eat his capital back.
twice in succession.
so the next time everyone eats together, he will eat something at home in advance.
and remind yourself that you must eat at dinner, eat less and eat more elegantly.
he thought, "so no one will laugh at him!"
as a result, others say:
"look at Mo Yan's fake strength, as if he could eat like Jia Baoyu with only his front teeth."
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eat what is invited and be ridiculed for "eating for free";
if you eat what you buy, you are questioned to "eat back your money".
put in a little bit and be laughed at as "desperate";
eat more elegantly and be ridiculed as "fake".
therefore, instead of living nervously in the eyes of others, it is better to smile and question and focus on yourself.
as Zhang Guorong sang in Silence is Golden:
"Don't be too serious when it comes to cold wind and rain, and be confident.
Hugh Li will satirize and question, laughScold people for being free and easy. "
laugh at ignoring and questioning others and maintain self-confidence;
focus on yourself and stick to your ideals and beliefs.
laugh at hardship, but do not correct it in the past
Catcher in the Rye wrote:
"remember what should be remembered and forget what should be forgotten;
change what can be changed, accept what cannot be changed. "
the blessings of "all goes well" and "all goes well" have been unforgettable to us since childhood.
but in fact, in life, where there is prosperity, there will be adversity, where there is peak, there will be trough, and where there is happiness, there will be hardship.
all living beings, no one can always be plain sailing, really everything is going well.
dwelling on facts that cannot be changed will only waste our time and energy.
during the Eastern Han Dynasty, a man named Meng Min went to the street to buy a rice retort (z è ng).
on the way home, I accidentally broke the rice retort.
in the face of the broken steamer, instead of screaming in horror or sighing with remorse, he turned away without looking back.
when someone saw this, he asked him curiously:
"A good rice retort is broken like this. Why don't you even look at it?"
Meng Min replied:
"the rice retort is broken anyway, so what's the use of watching it?"
one more look at it and one more day of pity for it is not helpful to the status quo.
if we don't stop the loss in time, it will not only waste time and energy, but also make us fall into a more difficult situation.
that's what the "crocodile effect" in psychology says:
when a crocodile bites your foot, if you try to break free with your hands.
then the crocodile will bite your hand.
if you continue to bend over at this time, save this hand with your other hand.
then you will be swallowed by a crocodile.
so the wisest way to deal with the bite of a crocodile is
give up the unsalvaged foot decisively and save the rest of the body.
similarly, in life, when we encounter things that cannot be changed;
instead of wrestling and lamenting, it is better to accept this established fact calmly and laugh it off.
laugh at life and experience joys and sorrows
A hundred years of Solitude once wrote:
"the essence of life is to live alone. Don't expect too much from others."
We always want to find someone who can share the pain and sorrow for ourselves.
but most of the time, our earth-shaking pain is nothing but dust in the eyes of others. "
however, there are not so many dignitaries in the world, let alone real empathy.
in the world of adults, both joys and sorrows need to be crossed by themselves!
people are at a low ebb, and they are always the only ones who can help themselves.
in the movie Shawshank's Redemption, everyone in prison yearns for a free world outside the bars.
but many people just give it a try and give up soon after they fail.
they pin their hopes on the change of mind and fate of their superiors, but, as the movie says:
"everyone is his own God. If you give up your freedom, who else will save you?"
those who give up voluntarily are also given up by others and are imprisoned for the rest of their lives.
only Andy, the protagonist who insists on self-redemption, managed to escape Shawshank prison and regain his freedom after 19 years in prison.
the ancients said:
"those who save themselves are saved, those who help themselves are helped, and those who abandon themselves are abandoned."
Life is really hard, and you have no choice but to cross it by yourself, especially the trough of life.
every trough encountered is an opportunity for rebirth.
people who are confused and counting on others will never get a turn for the better.
those who laugh at life and experience their own joys and sorrows are moving forward every step of the way.
as Ji Xianlin said:
"A man who loses his smile in the sea must never do anything;
A man who has gone through the vicissitudes of life and got his smile back is capable of any difficulty. "
so, when you encounter a low point in your life, you might as well adjust your mindset:
keep an open mind, learn to be close and close, and focus on yourself.
laugh everything off, know how to redeem yourself and live through your own joys and sorrows.
, may you learn to clear zero and let go of regrets for the rest of your life.