Never get wet by holding an umbrella for others.
there is a saying in Zengguang Xianwen: "easy to rise, easy to retreat, easy to reverse, easy to restore small hearts and minds."
in life, there are smiling people everywhere, but it is hard for us to see what kind of heart is hidden behind the smiling face.
it is only when we are truly disappointed that we know that kindness must have an edge.
instead of believing that human nature is good, it is better to leave three "minds" in advance and give yourself a good way out.
in this way, you can get out when you are hurt and not lose your heart when you are vilified.
if you talk deeply, don't say
there is a saying in Zengguang Xianwen: "you can only say three points to everyone, but you can't throw your heart away."
when dealing with people, the depth of speaking is often determined according to the relationship with the other person.
everyone likes to go to the bottom of his heart, which will often make him fall into a passive situation.
in fact, the more you say, the more likely you are to make mistakes.
only by keeping a good command of speech, you won't get into trouble.
Yuan Xin just went to work as an intern in a law company, and the leader of the company arranged for her to study with Wang Hui.
Wang Hui enthusiastically took Yuan Xin to understand the contents of the work and matters needing attention.
in the process of learning, the relationship between the two gradually becomes familiar.
during a chat, Wang Hui asked, "Why did you choose a law-related job?"
Yuan Xin replied, "I majored in law, and my uncle knew the leaders of the company, so he introduced me here."
within a few days, the news spread in the company, and colleagues said that Yuan Xin came in through the back door, which made her very embarrassed.
after Yuan Xin learned the situation, she asked Wang Hui, "I told you when you were a friend. Why did you tell everyone?"
Wang Hui said disapprovingly, "I didn't know they were so nosy."
after seeing Wang Hui clearly, Yuan Xin kept her distance.
but this matter is irreparable.
until the end of the internship, her superiors no longer gave her a good face.
Confucius once said, "as far as he is concerned, it is a slip of the tongue."
language is a social bridge, telling the heart to people you don't know gives each other the right to cross the river and tear down the bridge.
in many cases, the extent to which you speak determines whether you have a way out.
whether you expose your privacy or expose your scars, it will increase the probability that others will hurt you.
A good relationship is never about everything; keeping three points in words is not hypocritical.
speaking is an ability, but shut up is a wisdom.
Smart people all know how to open their mouths in a moderate manner, leaving no information to others, but also allowing themselves to advance and retreat freely.
shallow, not deep, is a hidden social rule of self-protection.
A thankless favor, don't help
shared a story.
my friend Lao Zhao and his colleague live in the same neighborhood.
once, Lao Zhao happened to meet a colleague waiting for a bus when he went to work, so he gave him a lift on the way.
from then on, this colleague waited under the old Zhao house on time every day, and he spent more than half a year on the ride.
at first, colleagues thanked Lao Zhao and occasionally refueled his car.
after a long time, colleagues will not regard themselves as outsiders.
as soon as he got on the bus, he began to play with his cell phone, got off and left without saying a word.
Lao Zhao was also miserable, but he didn't care when he thought that he was all colleagues.
on one occasion, Lao Zhao went to the airport to pick up people temporarily after work, so he left early.
my colleague waited for Lao Zhao at the old place after work, and no one was seen, so he called him.
after Lao Zhao explained the reason, his colleague scolded indiscriminately: "Why didn't you tell me in advance that now that the buses are gone, how do you want me to go home?"
Lao Zhao joked: "then take a taxi. I'm not full-time Didi."
this sentence made my colleagues angry and directly deleted Lao Zhao's Wechat.
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the next day, Lao Zhao sent a message to his colleague as usual and found out that he was no longer a good friend of the other party.
later, Lao Zhao learned from his colleague that the colleague often spoke ill of him.
Old Zhao had no place to plead his grievance and worked as a driver for others for more than half a year for free, but ended up like this in the end.
there is a line in the Godfather:
"softness without boundaries will only make the other party gain an inch; kindness without principles will only let the other party do as he pleases."
most of the time, it is your kindness that feeds the selfishness of the other person's heart that they dare to make demands without scruples.
there are always some "adult giant babies" in life who are ungrateful for the efforts of others and trample on the kindness of others at will.
when dealing with them, there is no reciprocity, on the contrary, they will be disappointed again and again.
in interpersonal communication, we should appropriately stay away from those who are insatiably greedy, and learn to refuse thankless things.
Don't get wet by holding an umbrella for others.
learn to care less about things beyond your ability in order to restore a clean world to yourself.
Don't hand in those who don't like you.
there is a "crab effect" in psychology.
because every time a crab wants to climb out, the other will drag it down.
in life, there is always someone who lives like a crab in a basket. Once they see that the people around them are better off than her, they try their best to suppress it.
such a person is like a malignant tumor in the body.
if we want to live a healthy life, we must have the courage to cut off the tumor.
Keigo Higano's work "malice" tells a story about going to extremes because of jealousy.
Noguchi and Hirohiko are young, but their personalities are very different.
Noguchi is introverted and timid and lacks independent opinions;
but modest, upright and brave.
in childhood, whenever Noguchi
is always bullied by bad students
stand up for him.
but this kind of emergence, in Noguchi
's eyes were so dazzling that he didn't even face
in order to avoid campus violence, he even took the initiative to join the underworld, and often
punch and kick.
never hated him for it.
however, years later
has become a best-selling author and plays an important role in the literary world, which makes Noguchi
is full of jealousy.
with the cost of his works, he bought a high-end villa, married a beautiful wife, and will emigrate in the near future.
can only make a living by writing children's literature, living in a single apartment and suffering from cancer.
did not seriously reflect on his shortcomings, but blamed it all on
he is concerned about
only hatred, which he thinks is
robbed him of his good life.
soon, the flames of jealousy made Noguchi
lost his mind.
bully yourself, plagiarize the evidence of your own work, and then
killed him the day before he went abroad.
Keigo Higano said: "the most difficult thing in the world to look directly at is the sun and the human heart."
in life, there are always people who can't see that others are better off than themselves.
whenever he sees that others are brighter than himself, he becomes jealous and blames the good ones.
I would rather be splashed with mud than drag others into it.
when you meet such a person, be sure to keep your distance.
otherwise, the other person will not only be unable to add icing on the cake for you, but may also push you into the abyss.
A man's life is like driving in water that does not know the depth.
No one can foresee whether there is danger in the river, let alone whether his companions are good or not.
therefore, only by touching the stone and being careful can you feel at ease.
if you don't talk to people with shallow relationships, you won't be controlled by others; if you don't work with people who don't know how to be grateful, you won't make a mistake; if you don't make friends with people who are jealous, you won't be wasted.
but flowers in the wild are always the first to be blown down by the wind, and children without umbrellas are most likely to get wet by the rain.
the purpose of keeping these three "minds" is not to be superior to others, but only to retain a sense of decency in a dispute with others.