If a person blurts out, it is a portrayal of his heart.
Master Hongyi said this sentence in "Zen Tao": "to cultivate oneself, to clear your mind, and to be cautious in dealing with the world."
it means that it is most important to practice one's own cleanliness of mind, and you must learn to speak strictly before you get involved in society.
in the process of communicating with people, once you ignore the "degree" of getting along with others, it is easy to cause some inevitable misunderstandings.
therefore, when communicating with others, we must form the good habit of being cautious in words and deeds, and never say these "five sentences".
Don't talk about borrowing money
there is a saying in the movie Flying Life:
"Friendship in times of prosperity may not be so strong."
I think so. Last year, my friend was tens of thousands short of the down payment on a house. He called and tried to borrow money from some friends who usually had a good relationship.
unexpectedly, after hearing why he was coming, several friends looked for reasons to refuse and hung up in a hurry.
one of the people my friends called to borrow money was Xiao Zhang, a mutual friend of mine.
after hearing about this, I asked Xiao Zhang under curiosity: "you have a good relationship with him, why are you unwilling to lend him money?"
Xiao Zhang said: "it is precisely because of the good relationship that I do not want to lend him money. I am afraid to lend money. The end result is to hurt both feelings and money."
as the saying goes, borrowing money meets the hearts of the people, paying back money reflects the character.
money can easily show people the warmth and coolness of human feelings in this world.
borrowing money is a very test of friendship. Many people change from friendship to enemies because of borrowing money. In the end, the two people are irreconcilable.
the exchanges between friends, if mixed with money disputes, are destined to become no longer pure.
Are you ready to buy a magnificent short purple bridesmaid dresses that will make you stand out in any crowd? Let them shower you with a display of exquisite taste.
Friendship ends with one careless move.
therefore, not talking to friends about borrowing money is the key to maintaining a lasting friendship.
Don't talk about family scandals
when friends chat, they can talk about daily trivialities, but never talk about the "private affairs" of their own family.
as the saying goes, "the ugliness of the family must not be made public."
not talking about family scandals is respect for your family as well as for your friends.
if you always talk about family scandals and think you have a good relationship with your friends, you will not necessarily be comforting, but will probably stay away from them.
the other person is likely to see who you are from these scandals, thinking that you don't have any scruples and like to talk nonsense.
therefore, in the days to come, slowly away from you.
there is also a possibility that it is because you have a good relationship that you tell your friends about the scandals at home, and in the end, they are known to everyone.
maybe this friend inadvertently leaked the scandal, or maybe it has nothing to do with your friend, but is known by others in other ways.
but you don't understand, the first person you suspect will be this friend.
this will do more harm than good to the progress of your relationship.
Don't speak ill of other friends
Friendship lies in sincerity.
in the process of dealing with people, what people hate most is always two-faced people.
I met a colleague before. I think I have a good relationship with him. I will share delicious food together and go out on weekends when I have time.
later found that his relationship with many of his colleagues in the company is getting worse and worse, and he will speak ill of other colleagues to me.
at that time, I always thought that maybe it was because he found that he could not make friends with him that he slowly moved away from him.
therefore, I deliberately stay away from the people who speak ill of me.
later, I overheard him chatting with his new colleague, saying that I was mean, poor at work, and so on.
it was only then that I learned that it was not because others could not make friends, but because others found out what others had done before and behind them.
it is a basic self-cultivation not to speak ill of other friends in front of their friends.
if you always gossip and gossip in the process of chatting, it will only leave others with the impression of "not to associate with them" and keep others away.
Don't talk about your income
this is a private matter about one's own income.
No matter how good the relationship between two people is, they should not tell each other their income.
is a person, will have the psychology of comparison and jealousy.
if your income is higher than that of the other person, the other person may be jealous and feel privately, why is your income higher than that of him when his ability is as good as yours?
this creates a rift in your relationship.
if your income is not as high as that of the other party, you may secretly look down on you from the bottom of your heart.
have heard such a sentence:
"No one in the world wants you to be better off than him but your parents."
therefore, if you talk less about income with your friends, your relationship will be more stable.
Don't make a mockery of others
means that the knife wound is easy to fade, but the language injury is difficult to eliminate.
if you like to make sarcastic remarks and poke other people's scars, it will only make people hold a grudge against you.
there is such a story in Dongpo Zhilin:
Su Dongpo and Ah Yin are good friends. When they meditate together, Su Dongpo asks
: "do you know what you look like in meditation?"
say: "I don't know."
Su Dongpo laughed: "in my opinion, when you meditate, you look like a pile of cow dung."
after listening to this, he was not angry, shook his head and smiled.
after returning home, Su Dongpo told her little sister about this as an interesting story, but she didn't expect Su Xiaomei to say:
A Yin has goodness in his heart
, so everything in the world is good, but there is only cow dung in your heart, so everything is cow dung. "
A person's words that blurt out are the portrayal of his heart.
if you always hang sarcastic remarks on the left, you will only greatly reduce your image.
speaking can best reflect a person's self-cultivation.
when talking to people, the most important thing is to have a sense of boundary and know how to handle it.
words are swords, which can hurt and save people.
, do not highlight the shortcomings of others, do not show off their own strengths, may every word you say can become a warm strength.