No mother is born a god. They need to be seen and cared for.
after the Li Yifeng incident, most of the hot searches were contracted by entertainment gossip.
endless melons, endless troughs.
but there is a hot search, but it is quietly buried in the melon field.
it concerns every woman and uncovers their "most shameful" secrets.
Miyi County, Sichuan.
Ms. Yang, a 27-year-old mother, jumped off a high bridge with her 4-year-old sons and 2-year-old twin sons.
rescuers tried their best but failed to save them.
four fresh lives are instantly silent in the surging river.
the family is devastated.
Why did a nice person suddenly commit suicide?
in everyone's eyes, she is white and beautiful, careless, and is a good mother and wife.
she wrote in her suicide note:
"I really can't stand it. I haven't had a good night's sleep since I gave birth to twins."
"every time something happens, it's my own responsibility." As long as the doll gets sick or something happens, I think the first responsibility must be me. I don't take good care of it. "
"I brought the dolls, and now I take them with me."
reveals breathless despair.
some people may say that the mother should not give up her life easily, let alone take her child with her.
but after layers of investigation, there is a reason that no one can believe:
because of poor sleep and despair, she may suffer from postpartum depression.
but behind these four words, convergence is always a sad story.
according to statistics:
10%-15% of women will develop postpartum depression, and 50%-80% will have postpartum depression.
but even with the data in front of us, some people still call it "hypocritical".
in the short film "seeing Postpartum Depression: the inescapable Truth of the husband", couples talk about postpartum depression.
there is a mother, post-90s.
"for convenience, the family put the child in another room. I lay in my room listening to them teasing the children outside, feeling ridiculous. "
when she is with her child, whenever the child cries, her husband scolds her, "how can you be a mother?"
allow the mood to run rampant, but the husband is completely unaware of it.
she tried to talk to her husband, but the husband dropped a sentence:
"I didn't know she had so many ideas. Maybe she was too idle lying there every day."
after diagnosis, she suffered from moderate depression and needed to take medicine every day.
I'm so close to death, but you think I'm hypocritical.
the baby was conceived together, but later, the pain of ten fingers in childbirth and the helplessness of post-partum feces and urine fart left me to lick alone.
after reading many similar stories, I feel helpless.
it's time to uncover the secrets of shame--
that is "reproductive sequelae".
recently, a hot search has appeared on Weibo
# more than 30% of married women in China have the problem of urine leakage #
leakage of urine is called "leakage incontinence" in medicine.
people always joke about "laughing and peeing".
behind the teasing, there is a lot of sadness that women can't be seen.
especially after women give birth, it is especially common.
for urinary incontinence, many women dare not mention it in front of others.
"feel that dignity is being removed little by little, spitting will leak urine, vomiting will leak urine, can't accept it, so desperate."
when the 60-year-old aunt in Xuzhou was dancing in the square, her pants suddenly got wet and something fell off her body.
I went to the hospital to find out that it was a uterus when it fell.
this awkward scene makes their enthusiasm for life disappear.
gradually, they go out less, avoid the crowd and lock themselves up.
this is only one side of the "reproductive sequelae".
the "sequela" left to women by giving birth is a polyhedron.
it is followed by countless "shit and urine fart".
after giving birth to a child, it is followed by "rising milk".
mothers may develop mastitis, breast duct blockage and nipple pain 2-4 days after delivery.
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actress Zhang Ziyi once said:
"physiologically increasing milk is the most destructive torture experienced by baby mothers."
there are also the most embarrassing "stretch marks".
there is a mother of quadruplets who recovered well after delivery.
but no one knows that under the cover of the coat, there are shocking stretch marks.
seeing this picture, I haven't thought about it for a long time.
the birth of a new baby in October should have made mothers more happy, but the reality is staggering.
how can they hide their embarrassment in exchange for decency?
there is no way to know.
"reproductive sequelae" is like a scourge, constantly engulfing them.
there is a very touching topic on Zhihu: what are middle-aged women thinking?
one of them replied with high praise:
I wake up at three o'clock in the evening,
since I gave birth to a baby, I can't hold back my urine any longer. I feel sleepy after going to the toilet, lying quietly in the boundless night, thinking about my desperate life in tears.
deep down, I am still a 16-year-old girl who needs to be taken care of. I wish someone would hold me in my arms and wipe away my tears.
but no, the mother is old, the child is old, and the lover is cold.
she is a daughter, wife and mother. She lives for many people, but not for herself.
some people may wonder why many women around them, no matter how many babies they have had, have never mentioned "reproductive sequelae".
she does not say, others do not ask, in this way, endure in silence, with the "shit fart" after giving birth, live a lifetime.
does it mean that you don't have it? Does it mean that it doesn't exist if you don't discuss it?
A netizen talked to his mother about the sequelae.
her mother was shocked: "how do you know?"
this reaction is very distressing.
as the years go by, that ordinary but extraordinary mother continues to give everything she has for her family and her children.
some people will surely say that it is not easy for men.
Yes, everyone is very hard, but having a baby can't be done by one person, let alone raising a child.
as a man, it's hard to empathize with mothers.
but even if it can not relieve their pain, it is not easy to experience and understand them. I can do it, and everyone can do it.
for them, one accompany and one greeting are enough to heal their pain.
only by loving and understanding each other more can we walk through the feathers of life.
it is also hoped that women can face up to their private ailments and not be ashamed to talk about "reproductive sequelae". Only by talking more can more people understand it.
No mother is born a god.
they need to be seen and cared for.
, let more people see that it is not easy for their mothers. May they all be treated gently.