Truly mature people know how to keep their hearts and control themselves.
writer Bondarev said: "all the root causes of human suffering stem from the lack of a sense of boundary."
the relationship between people is very delicate, and the closer you get, the more likely you are to have a grudge. If you talk too much, you will make noise, and if you manage too much, it will disturb you.
No matter how good the relationship is, you can't lose your boundaries and invade other people's lives.
if you control too much, even if you used to be intimate, you will eventually get tired of looking at each other.
as said in the long Farewell: "meddling in other people's business will only lead to fishy clothes."
in the adult world, meddling in other people's business is the best respect for each other.
when people reach middle age, especially these three kinds of meddling, they will regret sooner or later.
the more you manage other people's private affairs, the more messy you become.
in the TV series "Heart residence", Gu Qingyu is a financial elite with beauty, money and ability, and boundless scenery in the eyes of others.
in Gu Qingyu's view, Feng Xiaoqin was born in a small place and married Gu Lei for another purpose. She was worried that her brother would suffer losses and be cheated.
whenever there is a conflict and quarrel between Gu Lei and Feng Xiaoqin, Gu Qingyu will rush home to help Gu Lei analyze and deal with it. Feng Xiaoqin educates her son, and she often intervenes, so Feng Xiaoqin is very upset.
later, Feng Xiaoqin and Gu Lei planned to buy a school district house for their son, and Gu Qingyu did not hesitate to believe that Feng Xiaoqin had ulterior motives.
she and her father called Gu Lei to the small room, so that Gu Lei must add his name to the property certificate to avoid losing money.
Feng Xiaoqin happened to hear it outside the door and was furious. She immediately packed her bags and was ready to leave home.
when Gu Lei heard the news, he chased after the door and stopped him. As soon as he didn't pay attention, he fell down the stairs and lost his life when he hit the glass.
afterwards, Feng Xiaoqin angrily denounced Gu Qingyu for his brother's bad luck, and even his father could not bear to blame him and said, "you made a good analysis for Gu Lei, but in the end, where is Gu Lei?"
after all, Gu Qingyu left irreparable guilt to life because he controlled too much.
I have read a very heartbreaking sentence:
"if you think of it as' helping 'and others say it has nothing to do with you, you are meddling; if others say' thank you', you are really helping others.
in life, we often interfere in other people's lives in the name of "help" and "for your own good", but never think about whether the other person really needs it.
everyone's position and perspective are different, and their views and attitudes towards things are even more different.
especially in the private affairs of the family, outsiders always look at the flowers in vagueness, unable to see the truth under the waves.
every family has its own difficulties, and everyone has the difficulty of being speechless.
in this world, no one can really think of others, and most of them are unable to talk about it under the limitations of thinking and cognition.
Family affairs are private, not family members, do not mind family affairs.
put aside your heart and don't meddle in other people's family affairs, life will suddenly become clear.
other people's feelings, regardless of alienation
there is a question on the Internet: "do you care about other people's feelings or not?"
highly praised replied bluntly: "No matter how good the relationship is, do not get involved in other people's emotional problems, otherwise it will be boring."
emotional entanglements are such a mess that it is difficult for people who are there to figure them out, let alone others.
after reading a post, the experience of netizens resonates with countless people.
netizens and girlfriends have known each other for ten years, and they talk about everything. Later, when their girlfriends fall in love, they will talk to her if they are emotionally confused.
but embarrassingly, every time netizens advised their best friend to get along with her boyfriend, her best friend tearfully said she wanted to break up. Netizens then supported them to break up, and her best friend turned around and said she had made up.
come and go, the relationship between the two is no longer as close as it used to be.
later, her best friend complained to her about her boyfriend. Netizens believed it and could not help but criticize the boy for a few words.
it never occurred to me that before long, my best friend posted a post on moments complaining that netizens did not recognize her boyfriend.
the netizen was full of grievances and sent a message to her best friend to ask what was going on, but her best friend blamed her impolitely and said, "you have not been in contact with him, so you are not qualified to comment on him."
only then did netizens realize that they were too naive, and she sighed:
"I used to think that we could speak freely as we wanted, and even if we stepped on thunder occasionally, we could directly point out dissatisfaction.
but reality tells me that this is not the case. "
Yes, there is no relationship that talks about everything. No matter how good the relationship is, there are forbidden areas for each other.
emotional things are capricious, love is beautiful in the depths, disputes are full of flaws.
We will never understand the right and wrong in other people's feelings, let alone the real version of Cupid.
the good or bad of others has nothing to do with you. You should taste the joys and sorrows of others.
psychologist George Dade said, "the so-called boundary is to let your business be yours and mine mine."
most of the time, the disclosure between friends is just to talk, not to ask you to give opinions and comments.
in love, people are protective of their weaknesses. They can say bad things, but others can't tell right and wrong.
A careless remark from you may become the starting point of a broken relationship.
keep the boundaries you should have, and do not touch each other's emotional territory, so that people can get along well with others.
the choice of othersChoose, mix with useless
A few days ago, I was chatting with my college roommate Cen Cen. Cen Cen said that he had done something stupid, and now he regrets it.
Last year, my cousin graduated from university and received an offer from a listed company in Shenzhen. At the same time, she was admitted as a civil servant in her hometown.
my cousin, who was both happy and embarrassed, didn't know what to choose, so she told Cen Cen about her worries and asked her for her opinion.
Cen Cen carefully analyzed the pros and cons of the two options for his cousin, and recommended according to his cousin's situation: "I suggest you choose to go to a listed company. Your development will be delayed in your hometown."
at first, my cousin liked the job very much, but in less than a year, the company laid off staff due to business adjustment, and my cousin was unfortunately fired.
after losing her job, my cousin hit a brick wall in many interviews, so she and her family complained that Cen was not far-sighted and blamed her for causing her to miss the opportunity to become a civil servant.
this is the case with human nature. The good result will not necessarily be remembered, but the bad result will be condemned.
No matter how you choose at work, you will have regrets, and you are most likely to be the scapegoat if you participate in it.
the direction of other people's careers should be decided by others. Don't treat yourself as an outsider and help others choose their way of life.
Yue Yunpeng once said in an interview that he had always wanted to write a screenplay and then make a movie and put it on the big screen.
one day, Yue Yunpeng and Guo Degang talked about their plans and wanted to hear master's opinion.
however, Guo Degang only said:
"if you want to make a movie, actors from Deyun Society can take part in it for free."
Coming with the latest design, our new wedding guest dresses is what you are missing. Buy your favorite and desired clothing now.
in the face of Yue Yunpeng's cross-border ideas, Guo Degang, as a master and boss, did not say much. He seemed a little indifferent, but in fact he was quite wise.
in many cases, the suggestion in the name of "concern" is far from the silent support of the "bystander".
Ming Dynasty Zhang Fengyi said well: "everyone sweeps the snow in front of his own door, regardless of the frost on the tiles of others."
everyone has their own way to go, the hurdle to break through, your views and opinions, can not pave the way and future of others.
instead of interfering with other people's careers, it is better to devote yourself to going your own way.
on the road to the future, it is enough to applaud when it is good and give it a hand when you can help.
Master Huikai wrote a popular poem:
Don't worry about meddling, it's a good time for the world.
many troubles in life are just because they meddle too much and pay too little attention to themselves.
you know, the relationship will not be warmed by excessive enthusiasm, but will be diluted by excessive interference.
Human feelings are hard to control and people's hearts are hard to guess in the world. No matter how good the relationship is, you can't go into other people's territory and point fingers.
people who are really mature know how to keep their hearts and control themselves.
Don't talk about gossip; don't mind your own business.
return to each other in their own place, leave their limited energy to life, and it is best to be at peace with each other.
, may you mind your own business, be it right or wrong, let the world be noisy, and quietly build hedges and plant chrysanthemums in your heart.
one book a week is released by authorization.