Stop internal friction in order to live a happy life.
psychologist Adler once said:
"all human troubles come from interpersonal relationships."
the older you get, the more you feel that not everyone is worth your time and energy.
A good relationship will make people feel comfortable, not tired, get energy from it, and live a relaxed life.
Bad people and bad things can make people think too much, get tired, consume too much energy, and become negative and restless.
if you have the following four kinds of people around you, you are sincerely advised to stay away as soon as possible.
belittles you, negates you
Marshall mentioned a point in "non-violent Communication":
"maybe we don't think the way we talk is violent, but our language does often cause pain for ourselves and others."
the lethality of language is great, and the pain it brings is long-lasting.
A few days ago, the story of a 58-year-old aunt's self-driving trip was scanned on the Internet.
Aunt Su, formerly known as Su Min, has been married for more than 30 years. She has been transformed from a young girl into a mother and grandmother, working hard for most of her life for the whole family.
her husband was supposed to be the sweetest person around her, but her husband always beat her, denied her, and ridiculed her, because Su Min's years of forbearance gradually developed into domestic violence.
even when Su Min attended the classmate reunion, her husband would make up her mental problems in front of all her classmates to alienate her.
Su Min wrote many times in her self-report: being with him is pressure, pressure, especially depression.
for a long time, she even suffered from depression and found it hard to get out of the pain.
later, inspired by other bloggers' self-driving trips, Su Min finally made up her mind to stay away from her husband and start a new life.
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she takes advantage of the gap in the operation of her family to shoot videos to earn travel fees, check self-driving travel strategies, and buy equipment.
after nearly a year of secret preparation, Aunt Su finally began her journey of freedom in her car.
take the RV as your home, stay away from the people who hurt yourself, do what you love, re-accept and heal yourself.
I can't help thinking of a sentence in Silent confession:
"our whole life is to get rid of the expectations of others and find who we really are."
those who make you feel inferior and even doubt yourself will only drag down your spirit a little bit.
the best way to cherish yourself is to say goodbye to these wrong people and wake up from an unhealthy relationship as soon as possible.
only by learning to pay attention to yourself, to strengthen your self-worth, not to be bewitched by each other, and to love yourself well, can you live at ease.
people who often complain and convey negative emotions
I wonder if you have heard of the famous "kicking cat effect":
when a person passes on negative emotions to the people around him, he will transfer negative energy to the other person, causing a series of vicious chain reactions.
complainers always approach others with "emotional garbage", which will not only affect your mood, but also change your original state of life.
as the old saying goes:
"you become the kind of person you are with."
David Polly said one thing in the garbage truck Law:
on the way to the airport by taxi, our taxi was in the right lane.
suddenly, a black car rushed out of the parking space. fortunately, the taxi driver hit the brakes in time, otherwise he would have hit it.
and the taxi driver just smiled and shook his head, showing a friendly look.
I asked the driver:
"Why did you just do that?
the driver explained:
"many people are like garbage trucks, running around full of garbage, frustration and anger.
when their garbage is full, they need to be dumped, and if you give it a chance, they will dump it on you.
so don't accept their garbage. Really successful people don't let garbage trucks into their lives. "
with negative energy people, they will take away the sunshine from your life, and then leave endless haze.
Let your negative emotions accumulate, unable to dispel and digest in time, and fall into the trap of internal friction.
in such an environment, the most effective way to redeem yourself is to get rid of the source of negative energy.
people will have emotional troughs, people will hear complaints, but do not stay in it for too long, you must take the initiative to come out.
exercise, reading, sleeping, there is always a suitable way to change your state of mind.
"Spring Banquet" says:
"higher feelings eventually form spirit and consciousness, while lower feelings can only be reduced to temper and emotion."
for the rest of my life, walking with people who are emotionally stable and optimistic is the most advanced form of health preservation.
people who always keep up with the comparison and show off
"much of the pain in life comes from blindly keeping up with others and forgetting to enjoy our own life."
most of the time, the show-off of the people around you and the comparison of the circles around you will always bring pressure to you and disturb your state of mind, just like a thorn deep into your heart.
if you stay in it for a long time, it will be difficult to see the beauty of your own life, and you will only envy the happiness of others.
heard a story:
Blue peacocks look down on white cranes with only white feathers, relying on their own good genes.
the blue peacock shook his feathers like a fan and laughed at the white crane and said:
"you see, my feathers look good. People say my feathers are like clouds in the sky, but you …"
the blue peacock glanced at the white crane with disdain and said, "your feathers are miserable and white, and the dirt is very ugly."
White Crane hit back:
"I can soar freely in the air and sing in the changing seasons.
it is also an extremely endangered species in the world and a key protected wild animal at the national level.
and you are only raised by humans like poultry. "
with that, the white crane shook its head, spread its wings and flew away.
all kinds of behaviors of blue peacocks are typical "sour grapes", and examples abound in reality.
have you ever met such a person:
the gossiping neighbors in the community are better than their jobs, cars and children, suggesting that others are living a miserable life.
at the classmate reunion, the old classmate who showed off his career and feelings for a bumper harvest reflected the misfortunes of others by raising himself.
when you meet such a person or circle, you don't have to waste your breath arguing with it, let alone a slight smile, then turn around and leave.
never compare other people's values with your own, let alone envy other people's lives.
in life, everyone has bright moments and unknown pains, so just keep a normal heart.
from now on, refuse to keep up with the comparison and stop unnecessary consumption in order to meet beauty.
people who do not work hard to make progress, "put it badly"
I quite agree with one sentence:
"if there is no result, it is just a sober depravity."
some people are used to saying "bad", but it's just an excuse for not working hard and not making progress.
A few years ago, a large demolition of the village made many people "get rich overnight".
my uncle has more than one million yuan in demolition money, and he belongs to the well-off rich in the town of the 18th line.
since the demolition money was received, he was no longer willing to work and began to live on the demolition money every day.
everyone is complacent and boasts that he has more than one million yuan in demolition money.
according to the normal daily expenses, the demolition money is enough for my uncle for the rest of his life.
the friends around me are also a group of people who don't work hard and eat, drink and play all day.
the so-called people who are close to ink are black. After getting along with such people for a long time, inertia has gradually spread.
also contracted all kinds of bad habits, and spent almost all his money in less than half a year.
he suddenly realized that he would be useless if he was idle any more.
now that he has run out of money, he still owes foreign debts and is immersed in the anxiety of having no money all day.
in the face of this mess, he always says there is nothing he can do, but he is unwilling to make a change.
people can lie flat for a short time and work hard intermittently, but they can't rot for a long time, give up and ruin their lives.
facts have proved that sooner or later you will pay back your laziness, and sooner or later you will overdraw your life.
there is a line in Shawshank's Redemption:
"Don't be trapped in your comfort zone."
stay away from those who are "greedy for pleasure and do not strive for progress". Keep yourself busy and live a good life, so that you can feel the most authentic taste of life.
people would rather be busy in this life than indulge themselves, live up to their time and waste it.
stay away from internal friction and heal yourself
walking in the world, the above four kinds of people will meet more or less.
it is easy for them to wear out the people around them and fall into a state of anxiety, depression and helplessness.
therefore, please be sure to stop the loss in time, block if you can, and stay away if you can't block it.
Don't let other people's negative energy and negative emotions affect our lives.
when Chaplin, the king of comedy, was 70 years old, he wrote a short poem in which I was impressed by a passage:
"when I really began to love myself, I realized that I was always in the right time, in the right place, and everything was right.
so I can be calm.
when I really start to love myself, I begin to stay away from all unhealthy things, whether it's diet and people, or things and environment.
Today I understand that this is self-love. "
only by leaving what is wrong can you meet what is right, and only by stopping internal friction can you live happily.
, may we all be brave people and refuseThe source of all internal friction, control your own life, and be the master of your own ideas.