After middle age, it's about mentality.
After middle age, it's about mentality.
Only if you are not persistent can you see through; if you are not perfect, you can live.


have you ever experienced this:

even if I am physically and mentally exhausted, I dare not let myself have a rest for a while;

if you lag behind, you begin to worry about the future.

too much pursuit of perfection, but everything is unsatisfactory.

most of the time, we seem to be tug-of-war with "life", but it is always superior and binds us seamlessly.

the harder you try, the tighter you will be pulled by life.

want to get rid of this shackle, in addition to win it, is to let go and withdraw from the game.

instead of losing yourself in a tight state, it is better to relax and accept the waves in life.

focus on the thing itself, think less and worry less

A psychologist did an experiment.

he asked participants to write down the troubles they might encounter in the next week, put them into the "annoyance box" and wait until the third week to open them.

on the weekend of the third week, the psychologist opened the box in front of all the experimenters and checked their troubles one by one.

the results show that 90% of the troubles did not happen at all.

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, psychologists put the remaining 10% in the "annoyance box" again and waited for another 3 weeks.

three weeks later, when I checked with the experimenter, I found that those troubles were no longer troubles.

A Stanford study points out that the human brain visualizes what we fear and repeats it over and over again, resulting in a magnetic field that leads us in that direction.

most of the time, we are the only ones who really stand in our way.

some difficulties are difficult to overcome, but what is even more difficult to overcome is our anxiety in the face of difficulties.

anxiety can only distract us, increase stress and miss the present.

our brains, on average, spend 47% of their time lost in thoughts.

this constant "brain wandering" is the most direct cause of human unhappiness.

there are many things in life that we can't change.

what we can change is the way we look at things.

so the best way to avoid anxiety is to return to the present, focus on the thing itself, and think less.

put your feet on the current road and walk in a down-to-earth manner, so that you can deal with every precious present more easily.

succumb to life and follow the trend

the unsatisfactory life is sometimes like a menacing flood.

you don't have to go up against the current, choose to flow with the water potential,

making use of strength is also a kind of wisdom of life.

when we choose to conform to the trend, the flood is no longer the countercurrent that hinders us, but the strongest assist for us to move forward.

Huang Meilian, a painter, suffered serious brain nerve damage at birth, resulting in her not only unable to maintain her body balance, but also unable to speak.

but she still earned her doctorate from the University of California through unremitting efforts.

in a speech, the student asked her, "what do you think of yourself?"

Huang Meilian said, "I only look at what I have, not what I don't have."

in the face of the pain of life, surrender is not to give up, but to look at life more positively. Complying with the trend makes our life easier and easier.

because of obedience, it is far more free and easy than the "hard" of life.

recently brushed a video recorded by a travel recorder on the Internet, which is very touching.

in the video, there is a couple, with the husband driving and the wife sitting in the passenger seat.

suddenly, a large truck opposite crashed into the fence, smashing fragments directly into the front windshield of their car, and the whole glass broke instantly.

after recovering from the panic, the wife did not complain or feel uneasy, but said happily, "Honey, we can change cars!"

my husband replied happily: "We are still alive."

then, the two quickly turned off the engine and got out of the car to call the police.

Life will always encounter ups and downs, chic posture, will walk past, the state of decadence, but also to stride over.

it is better to learn to conform to the trend, surrender to life, and calmly "allow everything to happen".

in the face of unsatisfactory life, "cutting through difficulties and fighting to the death" is a kind of courage, but "braving the wind and waves and complying with the trend" is a kind of rare earthly sobriety.

Life, in fact, is not complicated, but knows how to use strength to move forward with the wind and take off against the wind.

pain and opportunity always come side by side, joys and sorrows, only in a thought.

live in a relaxed state of mind, and you can have a lot of luck in troubled days.

know yourself and accept yourself

likes a passage in "accepting an imperfect self":

"behind each of our shortcomings, there are hidden advantages, and every dark side corresponds to a gift of life."

being in the limelight is just an expression of overconfidence;

sloppiness means that you are free inside;

timidity can help us avoid unexpected disasters;

splashing, on some occasions, is the most direct way to solve the problem.

sometimes, what we need to learn more is not how to be a good person, but how to be a complete person.

the dark side is also a part of life, and only by embracing it sincerely can we live a complete life.

once saw a picture of a fashion model on the Internet, and the most impressive thing was that there was a clear gap in her front teeth.

A dentist and Lara once said, "I can help you correct the gap between your incisors."

but was rejected by Lara.

she said: "it is this gap between the teeth that allows me to pay for medical treatment."

in Lara's view, the gap between the teeth is his most special place, although in the eyes of outsiders, it is a weakness that can not be ignored.

Lara's insistence on himself and his acceptance of self-imperfection let us see the truest side of a person.

is also this kind of truth, this kind of self-confidence, let Lara break the popular aesthetic, stand out from a crowd of models.

A person's path will be smoother only if he really knows how to accept his imperfect self.

I saw a lecture by a doctor who studies human social relations. She spent six years studying the issue of "vulnerability".

period, she collected a large number of interviewees' materials, and even at one point she was so depressed that she went to see a psychiatrist.

finally, she came to a conclusion:

We are always used to numbing our sense of vulnerability, but we also numb our happiness together, which makes us miserable.

this is like a lot of lovelorn people, will drink to get drunk, escape pain, but also block happiness.

in fact, the only way to get rid of vulnerability is to take off the mask, accept your vulnerability and maintain a grateful heart.

the real strength of a person is to dare to face that fragile and imperfect self.

the so-called not persistent, can see through; imperfect, is called life.

the tension of life comes from the acceptance of fragility.

the freedom of life is inseparable from the relaxation at the bottom of my heart.

Chen Siwen returns in the fifth season of "talk Show".

she returned to the talk show stage after she divorced Cheng Lu, her "brother who slept in the upper bunk".

in the face of public attention, both of them are very relaxed.

Chen Siwen expressed such a view, which impressed me: "what kind of life you live, what kind of life you praise."

it is true that there are not so many successful lives, but some people know how to interpret them better.

when the waves hit, some people were beaten to pieces by the tumbling waves, while others stepped firmly on the surfboard and drove forward.

Life is not that bad, it's just that we try too hard.

what breaks our heads is never a "dead end", but a mindset that will not turn.

when you encounter difficulties, keep a relaxed state of mind and conform to the trend, life will be full of willows and flowers.

, may you and I both get rid of anxiety and confusion, find peace of mind, and be a person with light in our eyes and sails in our dreams.