Only when you say goodbye to what is wrong can you meet what is right.
two years ago, the escape of a middle-aged woman caused an uproar on the Internet.
experienced the "tragedy" of the first half of her life, she
I don't want to be stuck at home for the rest of my life.
over 50, she chose to drive her own car all the way south.
A person on the road, a person pitching a tent, a person sleeping in the parking lot.
the richness of life is amazing and envious.
two years later, her return once again aroused heated discussion among netizens.
she is Su Min.
in a recent interview, she said she was getting a divorce.
"if he agrees, he agrees, and if he disagrees, I will sue for divorce. We don't have any property disputes. I bought the car myself. I only have one house. I can give it to him if he wants. "
is resolute, leaving no leeway.
seeing such Su Min, some people feel happy for her from the bottom of their heart and bless her to get rid of her unhappy marriage.
some people are puzzled: why did they put up with it before, but now they suddenly want to divorce?
what has happened to her in the past two years when she ran away from home?
Su Min's marriage was actually full of misfortune from the very beginning.
her parents are very strict with her, and her long-term busy and unfree life makes her more and more painful and depressed.
when she was 23 years old, she thought she could meet happiness as soon as she entered the marriage, but unexpectedly, there was another kind of despair waiting for her.
Su Min once described her married life like this:
"living with him is stressful and depressing."
her husband has a super temper and is often picky and abusive to her.
scold her for being mindless and illogical. No matter whether she makes a mistake or not, her husband can always pick out her faults and even hit her when he is in a bad mood.
after decades of marriage, she lived carefully and trembled, and even cooked according to her husband's taste.
her husband spends a lot of money on himself, but he is reluctant to spend a penny on her.
once, when her mother was ill, Su Min swiped 75 yuan with her husband's medical insurance card in order to buy medicine for her mother.
when the husband knew this, he was very dissatisfied: "Don't you have any money of your own?" Why does your mother use my health insurance card when she is sick? "
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the next day, she found that the man had changed the password of his health insurance card.
this act of indifference to selfishness completely chilled Su Min's heart.
married life is not happy, but Su Min never complains in front of her daughter.
in a quarrel, the unbearable Su Min stabbed herself in the chest three times, and the whole dress was stained with blood.
it turns out that she is already suffering from moderate depression.
she spent the first half of her life in patience.
in order to give her daughter a complete family, in order not to affect her daughter to find a partner, and to help her daughter take care of her children, she silently swallowed all the pain and suffered all the grievances on her own.
at the age of 56, Su Min realized that she couldn't go on like this, and she decided to live for herself once.
in September 2020, Su Min drove alone and left the home that brought her great pain.
that's the feeling of freedom.
there is no endless criticism and picky, no longer to follow her husband's taste, even if the journey is tiring, Su Min is still full of expectations.
in Chengdu, she attended the party of her old classmates. When several people were talking and laughing together, the air was filled with the smell of happiness.
at the seaside, she tried to surf, fell into the sea again and again, and stood up again and again.
it is hard to imagine that this is the energy that can burst out in a person over 50.
she also went to Disneyland, something she had never thought of before.
Sanya, Hainan, Tibet, Xinjiang. More than 100 cities have left her footprints.
during the past two years of traveling, there have been more and more smiles on her face, and her previous depression seems to have improved.
but the husband and children at home are always the obstacles she has to face.
in the Mid-Autumn Festival this year, Su Min softened because of her daughter's repeated requests.
although her husband did not take the initiative to communicate with her husband after two years away, she still cares about him, and she is still looking forward to her husband.
before going home, Su Min was very nervous, but when her husband saw Su Min, his first reaction was cynicism:
"do you know to come back?"
"you can't get along anymore, can you?"
two years later, he is still the same.
he is still indifferent to her, his eyes are still only money, he still belittles and suppresses her as always.
this also completely gave up Su Min.
disappointment accumulates day by day, and divorce is a difficult decision, especially for people of Su Min's age.
now, the reason why I am so determined is because I have saved enough.Disappointed.
No one wants to be a free babysitter all the time, and why should he keep giving if he doesn't know how to cherish it?
Su Min's experience is a common pain for countless women.
for them, marriage is not a safe haven, and most of the storms in life come from their marriage.
remember Yu Xiuhua?
her first marriage was also full of misfortune.
after marriage, her husband does not give her money, even if it is to subsidize the family, but also need her to lick his face to beg.
she has nothing in common with her husband in life.
she likes to write poems, and her husband says she doesn't do her proper job; she likes flowers and plants, which becomes a kind of hypocrisy in her husband's eyes.
what made her feel even more uncomfortable was the humiliation of her husband.
her physical disability created her painful experience in her early years, but her husband enjoyed laughing at her cerebral palsy.
once the boss owed 800 yuan, and her husband pushed her into the middle of the road, blocking the boss's car and forcing the boss to give money.
Yu Xiuhua asked, "what if he really bumped into me?"
the husband did not answer, perhaps in her husband's eyes, her life is worth 800 yuan.
A painful marriage afflicts her body and mind day after day, and she once said, "I don't want to live anymore."
when her husband disagreed, she said directly to her: "this month, 150000, next month 100000."
after the divorce, no one around her laughed at her poems. She began to win awards, publish books and become famous, and she finally lived the life she wanted.
as she wrote:
"for some men, (divorce) may mean getting rid of an old dress, for a woman, she just gets rid of a system, and the air she breathes is not the same as before."
if marriage becomes a bondage, if you don't see any hope in the future and come out boldly, you will be able to encounter new happiness.
Liu Mintao's marriage once again confirms this sentence.
when he was young, Liu Mintao was admitted to the Central Drama Cadet with the first place, and was favored by many teachers.
before many students come out of the campus, she has begun to come to the fore, starring in many popular dramas such as "Love between people and ghosts" and "the nomination of prisoners in the Song Dynasty".
however, in the prime of her career, she met love.
because the other party didn't like her to appear in public every day, she gave up her career and chose to return to her family and have a husband and raise her children.
she thought she could be happy in this way, but reality slapped her hard.
her husband is often away from home in order to earn money, leaving her to wait at home alone.
when she was traveling, she wanted to eat an ice cream, but she was coldly refused by her husband.
at that moment, she realized:
the sacrifices I have made over the years are unexpectedly
is better than one
Ice cream is valuable.
since marriage is already a backwater, why struggle in it?
both Yu Xiuhua and Liu Mintao have lived a better life without their unhappy marriage.
some people may think that a complete family is the foundation of happiness.
but many families that seem to be in harmony are already full of cracks in contradictions, even if they persevere, they are still the ones who get hurt in the end.
there is a saying in psychology:
"repeated flashbacks are worse than traumatic experiences.
means that the recurrence of painful memories is more painful than the pain itself.
the purpose of marriage is for happiness.
and divorce is to extricate yourself from a painful relationship and make yourself more likely from now on.
only if you say goodbye to the wrong ones can you meet the right ones.
Su Min once said in the video:
"I want to tell all the sisters who have had similar experiences with me to see the reality and find your life direction and dreams.
I changed myself by coming out, and if you can't get out, try to change your life in other ways. "
Su Min spent the first half of her life walking in a dark tunnel. During her two-year journey, she constantly found light, chased it, and finally became light.
it turns out that more than 50 years old can also be the beginning of life; it turns out that a woman's life can be so wonderful.
now, Su Min announces her divorce, which is a relief and a new life.
, bless Su Min.
the world is big and the rest of her life is long. I hope she will encounter more beauty and happiness in the journey of life.
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