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writer Li Xiaomo once said:

"always surpassing others in words is the lowest EQ behavior I have ever seen."

in life, all of us are inevitably refuted and criticized.

but stupid people are accustomed to tit for tat and never win, while wise people digest before introspection in the face of different opinions.

when you are alive, being able to restrain your desire to refute is the greatest self-discipline.

I wonder if you have ever seen such a person:

No matter whether the point of view is correct or not, as long as words are better than others, he will be complacent and proud.

but in fact, refuting everywhere and arguing about everything will only cut off the way back and push yourself into an unfavorable abyss.

in the Ming Dynasty, there was a Jinshi named Wang Pu who often argued with Zhu Yuanzhang because he wanted to refute too much.

for offending the dragon face several times, he was demoted and went home.

but Zhu Yuanzhang cherished his talent and soon recalled him to Beijing to supervise the imperial history.

I thought Wang Pu's temperament could be restrained somewhat, but unexpectedly, not long after he became the governor, he openly refuted Zhu Yuanzhang in court.

Zhu Yuanzhang was so angry that he was sent to the execution ground in an attempt to demoralize him.

I don't want Wang Pu to disagree, but just say:

"your Majesty promoted me to imperial history, and now he has tortured and humiliated me to this extent. I only want to die quickly today."

Zhu Yuanzhang flew into a rage when he heard this. Seeing that his death was difficult to change, he ordered a quick execution, and Wang Pu lost his life in this way.

some people say, "debate is a big killer that destroys a happy life."

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arguing with people close to them will alienate them, while arguing with others will only increase their anger and resentment.

as Franklin said:

"if you argue and refute, maybe you will win, but the victory is short and empty." You will never get the favor the other person gives you. "

too much argument will not make people think highly of you, but will make you fall into the trap of life.

the best way to live with the world is to learn to restrain and exercise restraint.

Mr. Lu Xun said: "Silence is the best form of resistance."

it is more powerful to be silent than to be eloquent, and more posturing to retreat quietly than to haggle over pennies.

during the period of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, Gong Sun Hong's ability from a cloth to a prime minister had a lot to do with his attitude towards life.

Gong Sun Hong was so knowledgeable that he would state the matter in detail every time he discussed the meeting and let the emperor make his own choice, but he was often opposed and refuted by his colleagues, but Gong Sun Hong never argued.

because he was extremely frugal in life, Ji an, the then Lord Duke, did not like him, saying that he was grandstanding and treacherous, and he did not explain.

later, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty asked him:

"what you have stated is right, but when ministers heckle you, why don't you defend yourself?"

Gongsun Hong calmly replied, "those who know their subjects are loyal, and those who do not know their subjects are unfaithful."

in the face of the offense of others, Gong Sun Hong never cared about it, but chose silence and tolerance, and finally paid homage to him.

Kant once said: "I respect any independent soul, although I do not agree with some, but I can understand as much as possible."

the gentleman is harmonious but different, and the benevolent are compatible with the outside.

in this world, there will always be people who are dissatisfied with you and oppose you; if they refute them one by one, they will inevitably be full of hostility and annoying.

if you don't argue when something happens, you don't give up for a reason, but you save yourself while respecting others.

people who are really broad-minded will not argue and persuade others from a certain point of view, but keep a silent attitude and walk away.

some people say: "to deal with the world, refutation is instinct, self-reflection is skill."

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in the face of bad remarks, habitual refutation and explanation will only show their shallowness and ignorance.

know how to speak slowly and examine inward in order to turn mediocrity into extraordinary.

Shen Yinmo became famous for his calligraphy when he was a teacher in Zhejiang.

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once, he improvised a five-character poem at a friend's house.

so, my friend is ready to see Shen Yinmo. Before the person arrives, the sound has come.

"I saw your poems in Liu Sanjia. The poems are well done, but the words are vulgar in the bones."

Shen Yinmo heard such a sentence "slap on the head" before he could see the person coming.

thought: it is really harsh to criticize so bluntly.

when he was about to retort, he thought again and hurriedly told the guest to sit down.

when a friend saw that Shen Yinmo was very modest, he talked to him about calligraphy.

Shen Yinmo was so inspired by this that he practiced calligraphy hard and became a master.

later, Shen Yinmo sighed: "without his criticism, I would not have reached the level I am today, and I would not have achieved such a high level. I have to thank him."

have read a sentence:

"Man-to-man is short, then there is no one in the world to hand in.If you look at the strength of people, the world can be our teacher. "

in the face of criticism and questioning, stupid people will subconsciously refute and trap themselves on the brink of growth.

and smart people will reflect on their problems for the first time and find answers from themselves.

as the saying goes: the weak are trapped, and the strong are self-conscious.

when a person has the courage to criticize himself, he also has the strength to grow rapidly.

A professor once said:

but through self-growth, we can make things that cannot be agreed upon become insignificant. "

pointless rebuttal can not improve our ability, without excuse, we can free up enough time to refine ourselves.

Shen Congwen is not only a famous modern writer, but also a researcher of historical relics.

some people ridicule him as a thoughtless writer; others refute that there is only superficial bad taste in his works.

but Shen Congwen did not fight according to reason and turned a deaf ear to criticism.

later, he began to study historical relics.

others commented that he was "playing with flowers and plants all day and not doing his job properly."

and he didn't care about it or explain it at all, but only focused on the study of cultural relics.

he doesn't go to bed until 12:00 every night and gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning to study cultural relics. When he can't write by hand, he insists on dictation and asks his friends to write for him.

there is a saying in Daojing: "those who argue are not good, but those who are good do not argue."

in the face of refutation from others, it is useless to say more; if you don't listen to your ear or heart, you can't hurt you at all.

A truly wise man does not fall in the mouths of others, but only practices in his own mind.

focus on your actions and cultivate your abilities. When you get to the top of the mountain, you will find that the voices of the outside world are just passing by.

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read a philosophical story:

someone asked, "Master, what's the secret of happiness?"

the master replied, "Don't argue with fools."

the master replied, "Yes, you are right!"

habitual refutation is an instinct, but restraint is an ability.

foolish people like to argue and cut off their own way; benevolent people, quiet but undisputed, accommodate all things.

A kind man seeks himself, examines himself, and examines himself; a wise man laughs and improves himself.

Laozi said: the husband only does not fight, so the world can not fight with it.

, for the rest of my life, I will not argue, sober and calm.

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