Children's habits, character and values all come from the imperceptible influence of the family.
some time ago, I saw a public welfare film "Orphanage" in Finland.
tells the story of a brother and sister who went to adopt their parents.
Group 2: parents smiled kindly and asked their children if they wanted to drink juice.
Group 3: the two date warmly under the tree with a stroller at their feet, and the father squats down and looks the child in the eye.
the children smiled brightly when they saw the first three pairs of parents.
when I arrived in the fourth group, I saw that the room was in a mess, a pile of clothes were scattered on the bed and on the floor, and my parents were blaming each other fiercely.
when the child saw this, his eyes immediately dimmed, very frightened and sad.
at the end of the film, the children cannot choose their own parents and can only follow the fourth group of parents to go home.
A family of four walked on the road, with their parents in front of them, noisy and noisy, regardless of the children who bowed their heads behind.
in front of them, the light was all over the sky, but the two children bowed their heads and completely lost their luster.
there is a very good saying:
"the daily life of the original family hides what the child will look like 20 years later."
the family environment, parents' words and deeds will imperceptibly change the character of their children.
if a home is full of chaos and quarrels, it is difficult to raise warm, hard-working, self-disciplined children.
families with messy rooms,
unable to raise hard-working children
as the saying goes, it is not terrible to be poor, but the terrible thing is "dirty and messy".
A home is smaller and poorer, and children can feel warm as long as they are clean and tidy.
but if the home is always messy and parents don't like to clean up, it will make their children breed a lot of bad habits.
not long ago, I was a guest at a friend's house.
period, my friend complained bitterly, saying that it was difficult to bring up children.
procrastinate in doing homework, either looking for exercise books or touching things around, and always making excuses that they are bored and unable to write.
people are also very lazy. They take off their dirty clothes and smelly socks and throw them everywhere. They never help the house sweep the floor and wash the dishes.
listening to the grievances of my friend, I looked around her house and realized that the child's bad habits were not without reason.
the corner of a friend's living room is full of boxes, large and small;
on the table, the bowls and chopsticks are confiscated, and the soup on the table can even be seen dripping to the floor along the edge of the table.
the children's desks are full of toys and books, and they can't even find a place to sit down and do their homework.
No place is tidy as far as I can see.
Tolstoy once said:
"all education, or 999/1000 of education, comes down to role models, to the integrity and perfection of parents' lives.
parents are a mirror of their children, and their behavior is the reflection of their parents.
how can children be industrious if their parents are lazy?
his behavior is only worse than that of his parents, and he doesn't like to clean up, pays no attention to personal hygiene, and procrastinates.
A family with disorderly rules,
cannot raise a grateful child
French educator Rousseau once said:
"do you know how to make your child an unfortunate person? The way is to be obedient to him. "
the most sad thing about a family is that parents have no principles, constantly give in, give everything, and finally raise ungrateful children.
some time ago, I saw an eye-popping news on the Internet.
A young man in his 20s in Chongqing is lying on the ground splashing and rolling.
the reason is that he asked his father to help buy a car, but his father refused, so he smashed his father's van and lay on the road again.
in fact, this is not the first time the young man has threatened his father.
at the beginning of the year, the young man wanted to buy a laptop and lay down across the road. at that time, his father gave in.
so this time he did it again.
it is the parents who compromise and pamper again and again that make the young man a white-eyed wolf with no rules and no gratitude.
similar scenes are often seen in life:
on the dinner table, delicious food is placed in front of the children, and the children are still waiting for their parents to pick up food.
on the way to school, the child walks ahead with peace of mind, and the parents or the elderly help to carry the schoolbag.
the mall sees love
things, parents usually compromise.
these things, which seem to be trivial, are actually encouraging the psychology of children as they should be.
in the long run, children will think that all this should be done.
after that, if he is a little less satisfied, he will resent and blame his parents for not giving more.
parents' best education for their children is not bottomless indulgence, but love and rules go hand in hand.
set rules for children from an early age, tell them what to do and what not to do, and strictly implement them.
in a regular and well-behaved family, the couple are in harmony, the children are orderly, and the family style is self-correcting, so that the children will know more about love and gratitude.
A messy family,
unable to raise self-disciplined and self-motivated children
there is a good saying:
"every good child has the shadow of his parents; just like behind every problem child, there is a lack of parental upbringing."
Children's habits today are actually acquired by imitating their parents' daily words and deeds.
A friend of the head teacher told me about a recent incident in his class.
in their class, a student always secretly read a novel with his mobile phone in class, but did not listen to it several times.
one day, a friend invited the parents of the students to the school and talked about it seriously.
the parents promised one after another, "all right, I'll confiscate his phone right away."
then I'm going to rob the child's cell phone.
the child is unwilling to give, the mother scolded: "play at home, also play at school, do not study hard, what can be achieved in the future?"
the student cried and excitedly replied, "you and your father watch TV and play with your mobile phone every day. Why do I have to do my homework and not play?" You're not fair! "
after listening to the quarrel between parents and children, it is not difficult to understand why children are always lazy not to study.
what happens to children now is actually the fault of their parents.
parents always take great pains to persuade their children to work hard, exercise self-discipline and study hard.
but right next to their children, parents slumped on the sofa, brushing short videos and playing games, how can they expect their children to exercise self-discipline in many temptations?
I was particularly impressed when I saw a picture on the Internet before.
someone asked a woman, "how do you persuade your child to read instead of playing with electronic devices?"
what you want your child to be, what you want to be in the first place.
good parents will not always preach, but live well and set a good example.
when parents stand on their feet, their children are naturally willing to be with you and to be what you are.
the mother of Wu Yi-Shu, a talented girl from Tsinghua University, said a sentence that makes sense:
"Genius does not exist, its cause, in the family, its roots, are parents."
A promising child is never born.
the habits, character and values of children all come from the imperceptible influence of the family.
if you let your child live in a warm and comfortable environment, the child will naturally work hard;
when you raise your children with rules from an early age, your children will grow up to be gentle, kind and grateful.
if you give up playing and often read books, children will also take reading for fun.
Yu Minhong said: "if the family is a photocopier and the parents are the original, then the child is the copy."
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if there is something wrong with the child and is not good enough, don't blame the child yet.
find it from the source and examine yourself whether you haven't done enough.
when parents learn to use words and deeds to influence their children, without preaching, their children will naturally grow up straight and excellent.
, share with all parents.
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